Alcoholic Wife dilemma
Here to vent since not sure where else to do it but struggling with a situation I’m sure is not unique.
I stopped drinking 8 months ago. It’s been the longest stint in my life and I’m trying to get to a year. My wife of 25yrs marriage was my drinking partner throughout it all. She has passively supported me through my sobriety but is not interested in her own or ready to make the commitment.
I have never wanted to be a teetotaler about it and force someone into something they are not ready for. Also I have been focused on myself and my sobriety and learned to ignore or tolerate her drinking which has been reduced during my efforts.
However there continue to be occasions (once or twice a month) where she gets very drunk in public settings. Having clarity now I can watch her become more drunk by the second drink. I wind up not only being the designated driver, but the organizer, preventer of accidents, witness to her verbal embarrassments and recorder of her antics the next day.
Following these times it always leads to arguments but I avoid when she’s drunk and confront the next day. She apologizes and has even started seeing a therapist to help her but despite its a repetitive process.
Tonight was her birthday and I made special plans and took her to dinner and a concert which by the end she was drunk. She passed out on the train home and argued with me when we arrived.
I am getting tired of this and longing for a change or something to snap her out of it before I need to leave it for my own sanity.
Wondering if there are others out there living a sober life with a spouse or partner that isn’t and how that works?