r/Sober

I have decided to get sober. I think I can do this. I think that I have to. I am scared though. I'm already mourning the life that I had before.

I am scared that by not using it will cause my connections with my friends to change, and I may lose them. so much of our time together involves using, pregaming, going out to clubs, and just bonding while using. I'm 18, and in college, and so many of my friends are still trying to party and have their fun. I don't want to be the only one that isn't. I know that I could be at these gatherings while sober, but it's different when you're not partaking. there is less of a bond.

I'm an anxious person too. using makes social events so much easier. drinking makes conversations flow, using makes me comfortable existing and dancing when out or at the club. beyond anxiety, it makes everything feel more enjoyable. music, art, food, it all just feels elevated. I know that these things can be enjoyed without it, but I'm going to miss that extra feeling.

I am scared that I won't feel okay sober. I struggle with my mental health and using has been a crutch for me for so long. I'm not sure I know how to exist and live with myself sober. I've done counseling before, but I'm not sure it helped yet. I'm starting it again soon anyway, it's all I know to do that seems healthy and possibly helpful.

I don't think I'll miss feeling reliant on external objects or substances. I won't miss stressing about how I'll get or afford substances. I won't miss the hangovers, lost memories, or withdrawals. I won't miss the bad connections I made just because we both used.

I'm not really sure why I'm sharing this, maybe just to put it down somewhere. I have a lot of uncertainty about getting clean and sober, but I'm hoping it'll turn out to be okay.

Not sure if this is appropriate to post. but I have been sober from IV heroin, methamphetamine, cocaine, crack, etc., you know, everything you can think of since July 2021. I got clean when I found out I was pregnant with my oldest son in 2020, I relapsed briefly after he was born and then got sober for the last time in 2021 when I found out that I was pregnant with my second son.

Their dad was a long-term meth user and still is… the kind that hears voices, believes everyone else hears them too, and believes that violence is the only way to get someone to “tell the truth “

I was lucky to escape with my life from that relationship. and have spent the last five years healing. But admittedly lonely. I’ve tried talking to so many different men in so many different ways, apps, IRL, Facebook, people I knew from when I was younger, etc, but even some men that I spoke to consistently, I never could get up the courage to see them in person.

Eventually, someone I never really expected to have feelings for, I continued to chat with, and I’m finally on my way to go see him.

I am so fucking nervous!

SO NERVOUS.

Like literally shaking from head to toe, I already got off the train once and got back on.

I realized that I’ve never gone on a single date without having a drink or drug so I’m sure that contributes. But really, I just wanna know what the fuck is wrong with me?

Has anyone else had similar experiences with dating again after a long breaks? How do you handle the anxiety?

Yes I am prescribed it but man does it mess me up. I am struggling so hard to get off of it. Please don’t come here defending vyvanse if it works for you. I find people get very defensive on Reddit about it.

So I’ve been struggling with a 2 year cocaine addiction and have multiple attempts at sobriety in that time.

Today I bought some from my dealer and on the way home threw it out. This is the first time this has ever happened - once in my possession it’s go time, baby.

This was such a huge victory for me today and really gave me a feeling of empowerment and agency again over this. Don’t have too many people to share this with so wanted to express it hear

Thanks for listening :)

I don’t know if I should post here or where bc I can’t find an appropriate sub.

My main issue was always alcohol followed by weed.

I have an ed (eating disorder) I’m struggling severely with the idea of giving it up forever bc ik this time in recovery is it I can’t go into my 9th year of half assed recovery. I can’t do anything I want in life if I don’t get better.

I was two years sober from alcohol and weed at the end of September

I had a 5 hour crisis last night. I talked to two different crisis lines at two different times for like 5 hours total. This ended at 5am

I wanted to kill myself because of my eating disorder because I can’t go on like this but I’m afraid to get better

I need to be sent into ed treatment so I don’t kms

The whole reason i became an alcoholic because I was terrified I’d have a suicide attempt in 2022 and I didn’t want to self harm anymore. So I began drinking and it spiraled out of control.

Then I started smoking weed

It made me eat more and distracted me

I began drinking and smoking

I stopped both in 2024 a day apart

I was high all the time and drinking on and off back then

I went through sober living and an online substance treatment AA meetings for at least 6 months I had a sponsor (not anymore)

I don’t drive that’s why I stopped going to AA my ride stopped taking me and I don’t like the online meetings

I bought and smoked a weed vape today

I did it bc I was afraid I’d kill myself if I didn’t smoke or drink while I wait to try to get into some type of residential

And while yes weed isn’t physically addictive it’s psychologically addictive and no t something I know I can moderate long term

So far I took a single hit earlier I know at some point I’ll lose control of it and green out and maybe even be fucked up at work

It’ll lead to drinking

If I drink it’s over

I won’t stop this time

Drinking was so hard to stop

And I’m of age so I can actually get this stuff

I started drinking at 19 I couldn’t get it back then I took my mom

She only has wine I don’t particularly like wine and I refused to allow myself to know how to actually open a bottle of wine (she got rid of the liquor cuz of me)

I don’t think I’m completely sober but I’m not high out of my mind

Part of me is screaming at myself part of me is riddled with guilt

I can’t do it again but I can’t kill myself so I have to get high

And i absolutely can not drink but I will drink if it comes down to that or killing myself

And yes I could’ve gone to the hospital but I have obligations related to family members birthdays and if I were to go today I wouldn’t be able to make the cake tomorrow. And the hospital might delay treatment and getting therapy

So idk what to do idk why I’m posting idk what I’m looking for I’m probably gonna get high again soon

Soon I’ll probably start hating myself for it and feel trapped in it and start drinking

Idk maybe I just wanted someone to know

Why did I do this to myself? I have no clue but I want to just deal with it all head on. My sleep is alright, I wake up once or twice a night but I usually fall back asleep pretty quickly. The issue I’m having is panicking/anxiety. Even like going out with people is hard because my mind will start to race and my heart will feel as if it’s gonna explode but in reality my bpm is fine, cold sweats and all.

I hope this will pass, I got prescribed some 7mg nicotine patches and some Hydroxyzine, got the patches (haven’t used because I don’t wanna reset the withdrawals) but the meds won’t be available until Monday smh. My appetite is very slowly improving, I’m not able to eat big meals, and sucks I stopped caffeine because a Diet Coke was my staple for a lot of my meals😭 just figured I’d vent a bit!

I'm a female in my 30s, and this is the longest I've stayed sober from this awful substance. I struggle deeply with bipolar and bpd, which has greatly affected my relationships and quality of living. A few years back, I filed for divorce and moved cross country. I wanted to use this opportunity as a fresh start and to protect my loved ones from my mental illness . For the last two years, I suffered my battle in silence and put up a mask. Eventually, my company began restructuring and laying off employees. I ended up being one of those employees, and it immediately sent me into a spiral of depression. Four months into unemployment and frantic job hunting, I attempted my own life and woke up in ICU several days later. I didn't qualify for medicaid due to making 150$ over gross income, which has resulted in a huge medical debt. Four months later and I'm navigating life with chronic neuropathy pain having to relearn the ability to walk. Life has never seemed so pointless and wasted. It's hard to find your joy when your mind continues to self sabotage. Just needed a moment to vent and perhaps find other humans coping with the same issues.

I was never a big drugs person, just thc and occasionally mushrooms, tried DMT once. I drank regularly and fairly heavily for 20 years.

I’m 10 months sober from alcohol, but have been smoking weed 3-5 nights a week still. Now I’m seriously considering quitting the weed too and just being a sober guy for a while.

All my friends still drink and smoke weed and sometimes do other drugs. It feels like such a wild move to me, to be 100% sober.

How does it feel? Any advice? I think I might be done with alcohol permanently, but likely would smoke weed again eventually, but want to take a nice, long break and see what it does to my brain.

obviously not being high/drunk/etc all the time has expanded my emotional range - it's a brighter, more vivid, emotionally connected existence. joy comes back, solid and enduring joy; the capacity to actually feel and process feelings and work with myself instead of being constantly escaping. im sharper, too, slowly i feel like i'm relearning the cognitive capacity i had before things went wrong. but: ive really been struggling with the idea that i have no idea how to relax/rest. i feel like i can't sleep, can't slow down. all of my wind down and peaceful rituals are tied to substance use. the drowsy happy floatiness that actually allows me to quiet down for once and just... sink. sedation, essentially. meditation doesn't help right now, i just feel stupid doing it and end up more anxious than before. ive considering i should maybe try to tire myself out with sports or something, but it doesn't feel like it'll be the same, because ultimately what i'm hoping for really is that feeling of sedation and loss of control. i feel very embarrassed about this, but i thought i'd ask for whatever insights anyone might have. i'm an intense person. i have no idea how to switch off, not like i did while using substances as a crutch. and i don't wanna depend on that forever, because i couldn't do that and still build the life i wanna live. so. any tips, stories, whatever? thank you, hope this isn't off-base for this sub

Doing a fitness journey for work as part of a promotion. My wife and I. As part of this I am cutting out my drinking habit that I’ve had for about 11 years now. For the past 11 years I’ve probably consumed somewhere around 30-40 drinks a week during the first 5-6 year of my drinking (all on weekends) and now consume somewhere around 50 drinks a week (all between Thursday and Sunday) for the past 5-6 years. I’ve mostly been a beer and wine drinker. Every month or two I’ll knock back a bottle of bourbon but it’s not my go to.

Over these 11 years I’ve packed on about 50 pounds. Some of it was needed as I was skinny but now some of it is bad. I have also gotten a little bit of high blood pressure that I just found out about at my first doctors visit in over a decade. Who knows how long I’ve had it. The doctor was very concerned when I told him how much I was drinking and am going for a follow up. I told him how much and that I’ve had a dull ache under my right rib cage that comes and goes and is especially present for a day or two after I binge. If I force my stomach out it is very bloated. I am scared to death that I have done the worst irreversible damage to my liver and kidneys (cirrhosis and kidney failure irreversible) and am a dead man walking. Please pray for me. Here’s to sobriety.

Had a situation happen that caused me to drink for the first time in 7 months. Back to square one I guess

Got my health back(mostly). Working a job i don't hate. Not homeless anymore. Decent little place with a garage (never had a garage before). Clothes that fit. Repaired my relationship with my parents and brother. Got a couple cats so I could have love in my life. Got a therapist working with me pro-bono. I am also some of the most anxious I've ever been at this point. Society seems pretty unstable just as I found some stability of my own. I feel like I am living in perpetual fear and I haven't been able to find the right answers on my own. Aside from just burying one's head in the sand, how does a sober person grapple with the level of society-wide uncertainty about the future of well... all of the last year's news cycles? I just work until my body stops working? Then what? Are the ai just gonna land us all as debt slaves in forced labor camps? I don't really expect our elected officials to even TRY to save us at this point. Kinda just feels likes setting more goals in life is pretty pointless. Hoping a kind soul might help put my head on straight?