u/Rejonix

Ok.....this will be a bit of a ramble as I try to explain. Thanks for your patience if you make it to the end ☺️.

I avoid social situations. They really stress me out. It impacts life in so many ways because society is structured in a way that social engagement is pretty much essential. Jobs, dentists, haircuts, shopping, tradespeople, education, recreation.....

I love solitude. But I am wondering about the reason for this. On the one hand, it lets me recharge and have a rest from life's challenges. On the orther hand, am I just avoiding social situations because they are so difficult? - If I was more able to feel comfortable, accepted and understood would I enjoy social situations more?

There have been times that I have recreationaly spent time with people and have enjoyed it. Yes, it was sometimes awkward, but it was also rewarding.

I now avoid most of the things that have become too overwhelming and difficult.

But now thinking that in the right situation with the right kind of support and understanding I would like to be able to do things that I currently don't have the capacity for.

I get the feeling that the options I have had previously were:

1. Push on, toughen and make yourself do it even though it is hard and will always be hard - causing a great deal of stress and burnout. And I don't 'get used to it'. I only come up with coping strategies that have proven to be inadequate.

2. Avoid it. Yes, that avoids the stress but then ends in isolation and a very reduced life.

I wish there was an option 3, where I could be supported in doing some of the things that am not able to do, so that I can have a less limited life. The thought of this terrifies me though as I can't see any way to do things differently or access a world that is so difficult and terrifying.

Ok, this is not too serious, just connecting with fellow Autitics through something I love......music!

I am pretty sure that that tastes will vary....and some people may not even like music.

I am sensitive to sounds - zone more than others. This can be negative. But I think it also makes me sensitive to music, which I love.

I go through phases. Sometimes Jazz, Acid Techno, Psytrance, Jazz, Folk, 60's Psychedelic Rock, 80s/90s indie, House, Drum and Bass, Dub....... although I don't listen to much recent music, I love digging into the past and don't think I will ever exhaust the backlog of releases.

More understanding, better support, more acceptance and validation? I know these are quite general, but is there anything specific? Reading posts on this group I feel that as a group we could come up with a list. We try to manage things on our own, and our voice is easy to ignore, but many challenges seem quite common amongst us and are not being addressed.

I really love psy, but am a bit out of the loop. I am not to keen on psy tech.....maybe getting too old 😉. I loved the music in the 90's and the early 2000's. Newer stuff is great too, the production and programming is insane! Backing the early days though the genre was less defined. Acid techno, acid trance and Psy all overlapped a bit more. Things like Shakta, Eat Static, Prana, Dragonfly Records, Total Eclipse, Juno Reactor, and stuff from the London Acid Techno scene. The sound could be a bit more raw but the thing I like is the groove. Any recommendations for current artists and labels that mix it up a bit and lean a bit more away from the slick, and also incredible, productions and favour a more diverse and maybe raw sound?

I am not sure exactly what to say, or what I am trying to achieve by posting.

Things are very bad at the moment. I am not easily coping with life and very overwhelmed.

I don't feel hopeful about the future or see how to make things better.

I have never been able to overcome social difficulties. I am afraid of people. Everyday situations and problems are challenging. Trying to keep on top of household maintenance is a struggle. To a al person my neighbours would not seem in any way a concern but I am afraid to be seen by or talk to any if them. I don't feel safe outside in my garden or leaving the house.

I am very isolated.

I have a partner and without her support I would not be able to even function as I do. But I think that my not coping is a strain on her. I try to stay positive and keep on, but it is so hard at the moment.

Hey all. I have been trying to work out how Eat Static made the synth line on their survivors track.

Tried a few vsts. Modulation, filters, pitch, chorus, detune - I can't get that close. I don't want to copy the track, its just bugging me that I can't work it out. I am thinking that maybe it is even a chopped up synth sample that is then processed? In that case, I stand little chance.

On the bright side though, I have created loads of interesting patches and got to know my synths a lot better 😀