Does it ever get easier
I lost my twin brother Brian in January. It’s been 7 months and while it isn’t as shocking as when it happened, I’m still feeling it just as strongly.
I lost Brian when we were both 30. He had an arrhythmia and his heart just stopped out of nowhere. There was no warning or time to say goodbye like with cancer or something like that.
And even now 7 months later I find myself multiple times a day saying in my head “Brian is gone. You’ll never talk to him again. You’ll never share a funny video. We’ll never accomplish our shared dreams together”
It’s just awful every single day. And I’m wondering if there are any twinless twins who have been going through this longer who can help me. Because I never want to forget him just to make myself feel better, but having to constantly remind myself that he’s gone is torture. Because my brain literally can’t accept it. I have to repeat that he’s dead because it’s so unacceptable as reality that my mind won’t retain it