u/ReliefSufficient8580

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Today is my former best friend’s birthday, and honestly, I don't know how to get through the day without feeling terrible.

Last year, her birthday was completely different. She was one of the most important people in my life, so I tried to make the day special. I made her a handmade bouquet, wrote her a friendship card, and helped organize a cake celebration with our group. At that time, I genuinely thought we'd always be close.

A lot has happened since then. There has been college drama, misunderstandings, mistakes on both sides, and eventually our friendship fell apart. Our old group isn't really together anymore either. Now she doesn't talk to me, and I'm blocked on WhatsApp. I don't know if she actually hates me, but that's honestly how it feels from my side.

The hardest part is seeing her with another friend, especially a guy she's close to now. I know she has every right to have other friends and live her life, but seeing it still hurts badly. It's difficult not to compare myself or wonder if I've been replaced.

And today, of all days, I keep remembering how different her birthday was last year.

I'm not going to wish her because I'm blocked, and honestly, I don't want to cross that boundary. If someone has blocked you, trying to find another way to contact them just because it's their birthday isn't respecting their space.

Instead, I'm thinking of going to a mandir and simply praying for her and wishing her well privately. Maybe I'll also do something kind for someone else today. I don't need her to know about it. I just want to get through the day without doing something emotional or stupid.

But I'm struggling.

How do you deal with the birthday of someone who used to be your best friend but is now basically a stranger?

I don't want to spend the entire day stalking their status/social media, comparing myself to the people they're with, or replaying the past in my head.

I also don't want to turn her birthday into something about me. It's her day, and despite everything, I genuinely hope she's happy.

I just wish I knew how to accept that the relationship I had with this person may be over, while still caring about them.

TL;DR: My former best friend’s birthday is today. Last year I made her a handmade bouquet, friendship card, and organized a cake celebration. Now we're not talking because of college drama, our friend group has fallen apart, and I'm blocked on WhatsApp. Seeing her with another close friend hurts. I'm respecting her boundary and won't try to contact her. I'm thinking of going to the temple, wishing her well privately, and doing something kind instead. How do you survive a day like this without getting stuck in the past?