My Teenage Story
I am 17.7 years old gonna become agniveer(indian army soldier)next month actually I was very much lover of Hollywood Hindi dubbed 80s 90s and early 2000s so i used to watch the charcters then i tried to imitate them in real life first when I watched mark wahlbert fear i tried to imitate that i got attracted with a girl much i literally carved her name from blade and needle on 25 places on my body literally blood name then i literally stalked her for 1 year straight i used to wake up at 1 am at night then when my mom was asleep and. Walk 11 km in night to reach her home and watch' her sleeping one day i almost got caught then i tried to finally confess but but then that bitch went to prepare for jee then i became sad cried so much and then i decided to attack her freind who encouraged her to do this one day me with my friend at night got into Our old school and i literally wrote every cuss bad word like slut and whore most bad you can imagine then we broke the cctv camera that day and burnt the bathroom and put this all on a other kid he became the culprit we were saved them one day when her freind was going from coaching i literally this is. Crazy part i tried to literally kill her by my hammer but I didn't have the courage so i stopped but I did hot her on the head by a heavy stone she got a big injury ir was winters again luck was with me but then the mark wahlberg charcter finally got out of my head then i literally got mad for one month regretting everything then one day the regret was killing me so much so i decided to confess my all crimes to her freind i thought I will be jailed in the later I asked her if you can plse forgive me but that girl was so innocent she don't tell anyone any other could have jailed me this literally opened my eyes so i decided to now help kids or anyone whose in problem one day because I don't know social behaviour when I got in 11th i befriend 2 girls 5&9 i literally gave them choclate everyday by my money clicked photos with them handshekn i thought now I am changing but one day 4 members of her family caught me and they took me in the girls house they didn't beat me but the girls have complaint to their mother that I was forced freind to them the whole family scared the shot out of me they said so much bad words to me i almost got tears in my eyes and theretened me to never go on the street again that broke me o decided to never help anyone again' then i fell in love with a 6th class girl when I was in 12th she was kind of very I got infatuated to her so much she was a twin to her sister and I mean diffrent face twins but her twin and elder sister always ignored her and never loved her she used to sit on a pond side where I sat also one day i tried to talked to her i have seen her pastly looking at me secretly soon we became friends one day at evening her family go on a wedding it was evening 6:30 to 7:00 i holded her hand first time then she hugged me saying I love you first' of all before that day I just wanted to use her physically and kiss her but her trumbling voice and innoncence i literally fell for her i kissed her forehead and cheeks and said to her only of you want she didn't that was the best 30 minutes of my life i never felt that much love compassion ever she also then we started meeting frequent one day she finally kissed me sorry guys that day we kissed for 5 minutes strait i felt that this is my life i need i felt ultra ultra level of happiness in that day i we were so happy in that excitement I made a terrible decision I told my friend about this who was her neighbour that motherfucker told her family about this I got fucked again' but because she completely denied her mother just warned me and I was saved it's been 8 months we still go at the lake but sit on opposite sides guys
plse help me before joining army i want to meet her and just hug and kiss her one last time
plse give me suggestions i can't control more plss any suggestions and give me suggestions so i could meet her and tell your experience what are thoughts on my personality