"What's taking so long on the toilet?!" well, this is what...
I'm (m31) are Afab, and I live with my grandparents. Not out to one of them. This isn't relevant, but it makes it funnier.
So me and my grandpa have this extremely unlucky thing where we always ALWAYS seem to want to go to the toilet at the same time, day or night. We don't eat or drink the same things, even at the same time!! We joke that we are cursed. Every single time I go, I need to go tell him begorehand, because there's a 99 percent chance he will get up AS I'M SITTING there, and he has a bad leg, so it's a whole process. And sometimes he does anyway and then cusses me out behind the door... as if that would make it go faster.
Anyway, a couple days ago, I'm on my period, and I ate something odd, so I go announce I'm going to sit on the throne.
"I'm going to the toilet."
"Yea but don't be long."
"No I HAVE TO be long, I need to poop. Just keep sitting, okay?"
5 minutes later, I'm on the throne. I'm suffering. Cramps are extremely bad, and I'm apparently constipated, so I feel like I'm bout to give birth to a goddamn cactus. blood is gushing out. I'm crying, sweating, and dizzy.
Incomes the sound of grandpa's mobility scooter. "You're STILL there???"
"I TOLD you I'd be a while..."
"Well hurry up!"
Grandma calls out to him to just go into the shower to pee- he needs one anyway. He refuses.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE SO LONG?!"
Well, I try to hurry up, but you know. It's not working. I'm still in pain. And now I'm stressed because grandpa's getting increasingly more annoyed and loud behind the door and so the pipe movement comes to a screeching halt.
I say fuck it, this is not working, I'll go drink something and come back later, so I just wipe, get up, and... before I flush, i ponder the chunk of blood and tissue in the bowl, half conscious . It sits there like a horror prop, bright red. And... i just leave it.
I come out, he goes in, I go wash my hands, and suddenly. His cussing comes to a stop.
Dead. fucking. Silence.
We say nothing to each other later. Neither mentions it. However...
I have not been told to hurry up when i say I'll be a while since!
I feel a little bad in retrospect, but also, please leave people alone when they poop. Especially when they poop on their period. It's hard as it is. Thank you.