Lost in the Ocean of Service
For years, we were told that we should “lose ourselves in the ocean of service.” On the surface, it sounded beautiful and spiritual, a kind of sacrifice for humanity, for love, for building a better world.
But the longer I stayed in that environment, the more I began to feel that this “service” was not as directionless or pure as it appeared.
Almost everything seemed to lead to the same place:
more study circles,
more activities,
more statistics,
more enrollments.
Gradually, I realized that your value was no longer defined by who you were as a human being, but by your “function” within the system.
And maybe the most dangerous part was that you become so constantly busy that you no longer have time to pause and ask yourself:
What exactly am I serving?
What is all this energy, time, emotion, and youth actually being spent on?
But what I slowly came to understand was that this “service” only has value as long as it remains aligned with the institution.
As long as you hold classes, recruit people, stay active in projects, and move forward without questioning anything, you are considered a “beloved servant.”
But the moment you begin to question, criticize, or even quietly distance yourself, everything changes.
I personally witnessed how some people were treated after being shunned.
People who had devoted years of service to the community suddenly became individuals whose names had to be mentioned carefully.
Old friends distanced themselves.
Communication stopped.
And people who once spoke endlessly about “love” and “unity” began acting as though that person had become some kind of danger to others.
That was when I realized this structure does not merely require “service”
it requires obedience.
Because if this service were truly for humanity, then a single question or disagreement should not be enough for all that love to suddenly disappear.
And maybe the saddest part of all is this:
they invite you to lose yourself in the “ocean of service,”
but the moment you try to swim against the current, that same ocean is the first thing that pushes you away.