Instagram Apologists Who Made my Faith Crisis Worse
I (25 F) am trying to return to church, I have two big posts I want to make in this group, I'll post this one first. (Yes I know its pathetic to turn to reddit but I have no LDS friends in UT besides my husband and my family is not LDS and my in laws dont really like me all that much.
Anyways, you don't really need context for my story because I think anyone who has spent time on LDS Instagram space will understand what I am talking about (even if you like these kinds of accounts I am mentioning)
I had my faith crisis last fall and’ve been fully out for almost a year now. I’m a convert who gave up a lot to join. I was truly converted. JC was my best friend, read the BOM Daily, Temple Worker, YW Callings, all of it. Then when I moved to UT it all came crumbling down .
There were several things that led to me leaving, but the final straw was actually certain LDS apologists and “unapologetic” accounts on Instagram. It wasn’t big name ex-Mormon creators like John Dehlin or Alyssa Grenfell. I have watched all of that and literally not a single piece of content by them or creators like them had any impact on me. It was the people within my own faith.
One account in particular really picked up traction right at the height of my faith crisis. It started by calling out anti-Mormon stuff (which I actually appreciated at first), but it quickly turned into attacking and bullying other LDS creators and members who weren’t living the gospel exactly like them. Posting people’s reels to their stories so followers could dogpile them, fighting with members in comments, zero nuance or kindness — just “if you’re not living the gospel 100% like me, your beliefs are laughable and there’s no room for you here.”
That was the thing that sent me running. When I joined the church in the Midwest, my parents told me all Mormons were like this. I told them they were out of their mind, NOBODY I had met was like that. But since moving to UT I see it play out in real life and now on social media too. Obviously, if this was just one person, it would not impact me at all, but I’ve seen a few accounts like this one and it’s honestly done more damage in my experience than outside critics. I know Instagram isn’t real life and I could’ve just logged off, but it still hurt coming from inside the Church/ seeing THOUSANDS of members cheer for and encourage this bullying.
I’m trying to come back now. I’ve blocked those accounts, set time limits on IG, and I’m back to reading the scriptures. But I’ve talked to SEVERAL other people who left for similar reasons.
We can defend the faith and speak truth without tearing down our own members and, honestly, even former members. Christ wants us to be united. I don't think there is a single person who feels the spirit reading comments attacking other members. I have friends all across the political spectrum (left, right, in between), and I’ve found good in all of them. I have friends all faith groups and found good in all of them. And I have friends on all parts of the Mormon spectrum, and have found good in all of them. These online culture wars inside the Church are creating unnecessary rifts and pushing people away.
I also dont want to seem like a huge complainer, there are some AMAZING LDS apologists, my favorite is blondeapologist. She is firm in her faith, explains things perfectly, engages with everyone, but does not belittle people. Truly a Christlike Gal! If anyone has other recommendations that would be great, I want to hear uplifting messages online, especially from women and especially as I am trying to come back, but the IG Space has just gotten so mean, and it makes me sad :(
I guess this is all just a plea to be kinder online, especially to each other. We are representing the church and what we post can really impact people. Has anyone else noticed this, and what can we do about it?