I just hate this out of body experience of not knowing what time it really is, gonna try and go back to sleep. Lemme know if this happens to anyone else
Was super particular to double-check the last time I underestimated calories by looking at the whole meal instead of the 1 item; anyways, I was so proud of myself for stating the 150 calories something was, only to find it is in fact... 510 calories. I checked multiple ways I could have messed this up and was just devastated that it ruined my other plans- like will I ever be so sure and correct? I just don't know. I'm giving myself credit here and also realizing apps allowing unnecessary numerical data to be posted like (new sale on the 15th, or add this topping for just 60 calories more!) may have been something my brain latched on to without thinking why it is that way.
My Audhd brain loves when people say here's a bulleted list of what absolutely has to be done- and a few subcategories you can choose from when working. Lately, I've realized the last 3/ no 4 weeks that the tasks keep getting more complicated- like oh yeah, just greet people and do these 3 things to now, check this system, that system, but don't forget the basics! haha. So now my brain just feels sluggish and I'm forgetting the basics because no one tells me the parameters in which all extra 300 variables are important and when. I'm trying to clarify that right now, but it feels like that in real life too where I'm like it shouldn't be as many steps, but I like my life easy to make time for the times when A things are complicated and B for when I want to do what I want to do to motivate me to do A
I got overstimulated recently, and instead of asking how I got there, I just asked for help with what I needed-company. Sure, it didn't make sense at first, but I just said that I may be irritated at the trip I just made across town, but that I want to decompress and share conversation. Instead of people running away or saying that I didn't seem like I wanted their company, they just listened to me rant about spill-proof lids. It's a small win. I also rescheduled 2 things the last week that were too much, asked for a buffer day in-between trips, and backtracked an unhealthy coping mechanism with tracking my steps; I leaned in to what I do well and enjoy so that I can do the boring things later. I made a bunch of unnoticed mistakes and instead of getting overwhelmed, I stopped mid-day to track what things I did well that day and I felt much better. What things are you all enjoying?
(edit^ Ft work): So I have heard the very typical things thus far about getting a 9-5, FT job and stick with it but have also come out of not only burnout after diagnosis, but subsequent burnout for just picking any job. So I have decided that the cost of me returning to university (I do well academically) to take on necessary expenses with loans will be worth it for me to secure a career that I've been passed up for for years because my schooling was not enough. I do plan to budget and be mindful- I don't have kids or larger expenses, and have part time work to help me get through this time until I can find a better paying fit. It is just that after over a year of trying to survive the job market and struggling to get something in my field (a needed field), I feel this is a more responsible way to use my time until I find something that will ultimately pay better. All said, I am just wanting some support from people who think the way I do because other people don't seem to understand the tradeoff.