Found old sex video in her photos. My (45M) wife (39F) is livid with me for snooping. AITAH?
We’ve been together six years and have a family. The video is from 7 years before we met and is a graphic video of my now wife having sex with an ex boyfriend. This particular person reached out to her in the past year, and she said that could be because she was the only person he ever loved (that comment made me uncomfortable at the time; it is ringing in my ears now). That relationship purportedly ended because he wouldn’t commit (not her decision).
Interestingly, I didn’t try to get into her photos; she logged into her Google account on my phone a few months ago and apparently never logged out. I have an iPhone. I stumbled upon the fact that her photos were showing up in a web browser version of Google Photos after she sent me a photo the other day, I’m guessing from that app.
We have an agreement to respect each other’s privacy and AFAIK have never tried to get into each other’s phones. I trust her fully and she trusts me. I do not suspect infidelity of any kind. But I admit I screwed up looking through her photos given our agreement. I knew I shouldn’t have but my curiosity got the better of me.
She’s told me that she’s never sent nudes and has never recorded a video (I’ve asked casually in the past and this is the reason she declined). But both of those things showed up in her photos, which just left me feeling sad. Still, at the end of the day it should have been her prerogative to disclose them or not because we agreed to respect each other’s privacy.
Now she’s saying she doesn’t know if she can forgive this breach of trust. I’ve apologized and feel bad for looking through her photos, but I also wonder if I don’t deserve forgiveness and whether she could be sensitive to how in might have felt watching that. She hasn’t asked once how it made me feel (like throwing up).