Straight To Gay what?!
42 year old Dude separated from wife of 22 years. Strong Christian, with Bible College degree. Born and raised in the Bible Belt, Southeast USA.
I was always told gays are sinner and will go to hell going up. It was what was told to me by my family and my church. I never questioned it. Because why I am a “Straight” good Christian….
Even went off to school to go into ministry, got married had two children. Again everything a good Christian should do. Never really been “happy” in my marriage but always faithful. Both my wife and I were virgins.
Fast forward to today. Due to a lot of medical complications this year I am left in a wheelchair and learning to relive life again.
Simple things I did without thinking are difficult now.
Two weeks ago my wife said she wanted a separation.
Over the past two months and yes before the separation started and no the separation is not due to the following.
I met a Christian guy who I very much find attractive. The first guy I have ever found attractive. We are good friends however he is married to his husband and I know we will never be able to be together. But this all leads up to I personally think I might have been gay from the beginning. I never was in the dating scene in school days. I dated 3 girls ever and married the 3rd one. I never slept around or anything. I was committed to God, Ministry and going to school and doing things for the lord. I worked in the church for years. So now after meeting this new friend (long story but we feel like we have known each other for years) I am starting to think this separation could be a good time for me to look into if I am in fact gay. 🤷♂️ now my friends and family would all disown me if they knew. I have been studying the Bible as well trying to see my on all the gay / sin stuff. I personally never looked into it my self as I had not need to until now. And honestly I still unsure of the topic and if it’s sinful or not. I am struggling to fully understand. I guess I am just so new to this I am trying to find myself. In many ways I want to say okay I am ready to find a husband. But I know I have a lot against me. I am disabled in a wheelchair and I am starting to get up in age 42. So yeah I honestly have no clue what o am doing. What I believe anymore and even who I love. I a lot of ways I do want to get back with my wife but am I just lying to myself 🤦♂️.