How to Handle BPD Sibling Harassing Friends/Family
I’ve largely been nc with my brother since a few months before our son was born (now 19 months). Not going to rehash everything, but he did and said some fairly unforgivable things and harassed us so viciously that my wife had a panic attack during her third trimester of pregnancy and had to go to medical triage (thankfully baby is okay). He also created a big scene about not being invited to the Bris (Jewish circumcision ceremony). We were fairly certain that we were going to need to call the police to drag him away since he kept threatening to show up and start an incident - my own parents wound up having to skip the ceremony to keep him from doing that.
Multiple family members have gone nc with him because he has had similar incidents with pretty much everybody in our family and scares the living hell out of most of us with his constant freak-outs and nonstop harassment. He also frequently threatens self-harm to my parents to force them to pressure me into talking to him.
My wife and I have blocked him on pretty much every possible platform and for obvious reasons I don’t want somebody that unstable around my son. We also moved to a completely different state, partially to get a few hundred miles away from him. He still tries to reach us directly though not as often as he used to. Now the thing he’s been doing is reaching out to people close to us and causing them grief. For example, he reached out to one of my close college friends and tried to convince her that my wife was abusing me. He reached out to my wife’s friends and said that my wife “has a problem with forgiveness.”
Today he sent several messages to my father-in-law on Facebook including alleging that it was in fact me who sent my wife to the hospital by having a mental breakdown. Brother also commented on a photo my FIL posted about our son lamenting about how he’s not allowed around our son. FIL was present for the Bris incident so knows about my brother’s mental health, so he just blocked him and told us.
We’ve felt pretty powerless in this whole situation. We looked into getting a restraining order but both our old and new state have a very high legal bar to qualify for one. But even if we did, there’s nothing that stops him from trying to reach us through people we know and just generally trying to ruin our lives from afar. Have any of you been in this situation!