I was groomed when I was 13
So... I've never talked about this, I am 22F now and I just realised I was groomed by a 40 years old at the time. I really loved her or I thought I loved her. It was all a secret and I fought with my parents because I chose to spend more time with her.
There were good times, but she constantly tried to change me telling me I moved too slow or I wasn't focused enough or how I should act in front of certain people. I really do remember I tried to spend time with her as much as possible and she would get mad at me so easily if I didn't get my plans according to hers. We had intercourse and I've told her it was something special to me... she was married and I felt so jealous of her husband and she told me she wanted to get pregnant and I tried to convince myself that was ok to happen and she would get mad at me when I was sad because she was going to sleep with him. I am so sad that all of this happened... I am so sad I didn't get to live like a normal teenager. Constantly trying to show my love for her, she would get mad at me and I cried so many times at night because of many reasons.
All this ended when I was 17 or so... I really don't know what was she thinking. I am 22 years old now and I tried to talk with someone, but it didn't really go well and I've felt kind of depressed lately. Had a fight with my parents that I am not cleaning my room, but I am just feeling sad.
I am christian now and I know God is healing me, but I really want to tell this because it is so hard.
I really don't know why was she thinking that was a good idea, I am 22 and I could NEVER look at a 13 years old. This is so wrong for so MANY reasons.
Please feel free to ask me any question