u/RhubarbCrumble8105

Hello!

FTB here, in England

Got morgage offer & structural survey done

My house is structurally fine, no bad signs

Next doors has a visible crack in the front & back, is in a state of disrepair with no sign of a tenant/owner

I love the house I've put an offer in but I'm scared, worst case scenario,next doors subsidence is current & effects my property

Trying to find house insurance that will confidently say : "if next doors subsidence impacts my property, we will cover you for costs/impact"

Is this findable for a reasonable price? I'm buying solo & on a v modest wage so needs to be affordable too.

Would appreciate tips on house insurance companies or experiences!

Thanks

Hello!

FTB here

Got morgage offer & structural survey done

My house is structurally fine, no bad signs

Next doors has a visible crack in the front & back, is in a state of disrepair with no sign of a tenant/owner

I love the house I've put an offer in but I'm scared, worst case scenario,next doors subsidence is current & effects my property

Trying to find house insurance that will confidently say : "if next doors subsidence impacts my property, we will cover you for costs/impact"

Is this findable for a reasonable price? I'm buying solo & on a v modest wage so needs to be affordable too.

Would appreciate tips on house insurance companies or experiences!

Thanks

Hello there!

I want to get a morgage and...

- moved back to the UK 1 year & 3 months ago - I was in the EU for 5 years

- I am a UK national with a british passport

Which bank is likely to accept me?

I know Nationwide won't, & a broker got a DIP from Natwest.

Anyone done this before?

I'm in the early stages of a non-mon relationship where we've both slept with 1 other person. Relationship of 1 year, & we have alot of trust.

Currently agreement is akin to ONS - one & done vibe - no further comms or connection.

I am quickly realising this is not me. I can't be attracted to someone without an innate interest & care for them, which pushes my desire to have an ongoing relationship with them.

I think this does work for my partner - he's more adjusted to ONS historically.

I'm learning you can't put a boundary on emotion, but you can on time. I think my suggested alteration would be you can see a secondary person but only once a month - so not enough to form a fully fledged relationship, as I very much want my primary to stay my primary.

I am scared how he will perceive this & unsure how to frame - my primary is more concerned with emotional connection than physical & can understand how this may feel threatening. In addition I'm still understanding how it might feel for him to have a similiar, once a month connection.

How do I communicate this thoughtfully? Does this sound like a terrible idea?

Thank you :)

Hello!

I am suddenly pranging out & would appreciate advice!

Two weeks ago I slept with someone new, in fact spent 48 hours together & was proper, total magic with tons of chemistry.

Agreement is we do not have ongoing relationships - one moment together, then gone.

TBH I have been struggling with this, thinking of them alot, but I have drawn a clear "end of contact" line & not been in any contact, despite them writing me a beautiful letter.

However they have just shared on social media they are struggling mentally & don't matter, with a slight nod to what we shared. I feel partially responsible & desperately want to tell them they do. They are single, I am not, so I have priveledge here.

Do I contact them? Just for a quick, caring, mental health chat - with clear "friends only" guidance, risking my own capacity to move on? Or do I stick to my guns - trust they are ok - and let time help me get over them.

Help required for relative newbie!

I'm in a sexually open, emotionally not, relationship - a la open to one night stand vibe, no feelings.

I've just slept with a new person for the first time outside the relationship.

My partner already slept with someone- it honestly was not a big deal - one night stand far away.

A few weeks back, I met a hottie & we kissed. I didn't sleep with him then because my partner had just told me about his fuck - I asked him not to sleep with anyone while I "figured it out" - so I reasoned its not ok for me sleep with someone.

Me & Hottie swapped numbers, he messaged, I felt too bad to not respond, we texted. I told my partner - he didn't like that we had swapped numbers.

Me & partner figured things out - so we're back open.

I gave the hottie a proposition - we either fuck & split, or we be "friends". I realised being friends... was not realistic. So I proposed we fuck & split.

I just did that. We spent the a day & half together having a fucking incredible time. Now I've walked away from his house - I'm not gonna text, I'm possibly gonna block his number. I am scared of catching feelings.

I feel so confused & sad to now have lost hottie - we definitely had something beyond sexual, unfortunately.

Agreement with my partner, is we tell each other, but not really details.

Question

- how do I tell him - obviously i will, but what? Do I say we ended spending much longer together? Have I cheated?

- Sex boundaries: Me & hottie did some v intense sexual stuff... me & partner never mentioned any sexual boundaries in the agreement- what do others do this? I'm not sure he'd be happy...

- Have i cheated? I don't feel like I have but I'm worried... I don't want to lie to my partner (he only wants to know minimal info) but don't want to lose him. There's a small, shameful part of me that wants to minimise what happened (spent 2 nights at his, not 1), esp as my partner hates details. BTW this is my first time sleeping with anyone outside the relationship.

- Me & hottie was more emotional than i anticipated - we connected quite deeply. How do you self soothe / get over this while considering your partner?