u/RoadAfraid6329

Incoming freshman here, I’ve been getting a lot of fomo seeing my friends go to their colleges and experience fun o-week activities. I think it’s in part due to how late we start (no one seems to really talk about that on here?) and how little information there is on what it’s like.

The title is pretty much what I’ve been wanting to ask. Is it kind of lame? Is it a full packed schedule all week or does it have more downtime? Do we really have good traditions like other colleges that are more known for their o-week? Is it easy to make friends?

The posts I’ve seen about o-week are kind of as expected, UChicago students seem to be very self deprecating and I was hoping to get more insight into it.

I think I sound selfish writing this, but I wanted to see if I’m in the wrong here.

It‘s August now and I’m about to start my freshman year of college. I never thought I’d be able to attend an elite private university, and I’m so grateful that I’m here. However, it was a lot of work to try and afford it. My parents are divorced. My dad and stepmom make slightly more than $300k, and my mom makes a little less than $300k. According to my mom, my dad confirmed two years ago that he was “able and willing to afford half of $90k tuition at a school like MIT”.

When I started applying to colleges, he completely changed his mind. He told me there was no way I could afford an elite private university and I shouldn’t even bother applying. He wanted me to go to the local school he went to (Top 150-ish) “for free”. I don’t qualify for any financial aid anywhere, especially with divorced parents. However, I knew that my mom was willing to pay ~40k and that I was willing to take out loans for an elite private school that I felt was prestigious enough and had enough valuable resources to make loans worth it. So, I still applied to these schools. This was a source of a lot of fighting between me and my dad because he saw me as being elitist for wanting to go to these schools.

Fast forward, I get a full ride to the local school on merit, with stipends and housing included. I admit that it is a very generous offer, but I was mainly considering attending my state school (top 50) at about $30k a year. The elite private schools I got into came back, as expected, to abour $90k-$100k per year.

As I’m still considering loans to pay the difference for an elite school, my dad puts together a marketing presentation, pretty much (this becomes important later). He says that the maximum they can afford at their over $300k a year before taxes salary is $20k. He says I will receive this amount whether I go free or elite. In the presentation he pretty much just goes over prices and explains his view on why I should go free. I assume he does this because he cares, however I am shocked at how low the number is as this wouldn’t even cover me attending a state school if they were my only parents.

Later, a miracle happens. I am able to negotiate a $40k a year merit scholarship from one of the T10 private universities I got into, bringing the cost down to ~$60k. I discuss it with my parents and decide to choose that school.

Now, in August, my dad is now claiming he can only afford $15k. I realized he basically used some kind of sneaky marketing trick in the aforementioned presentation to never actually write out the full number he said he could afford. $15k wouldn’t even cover the local school he went to at full price. I was hoping to lessen the cost for my mom, who was already willing to do so much for me to allow me to attend this school. Now, at the school’s current price there is a $5k difference between my mom’s $40k and my dad’s $15k. That difference is sure to grow as tuition increases. My mom has even offered to pay more than her agreed $40k, but I could never let her be forced to spend even more because my dad is refusing to split costs. I’m considering loans to pay the difference, however I plan to go to medical / law school and need a strong financial platform to afford this.

When I fight with my dad about it, he says I’m selfish for wanting more money from him because he grew up poor and his parents gave him nothing for his college, and he’s giving me an amazing gift by helping at all. He says it’s all they can afford in order to retire early. I can’t just say ”you need to work more to pay for my school”, but I look at all of the other parents I know and they are willing to make financial sacrifices for their children’s education. People who are making far less are spending more than him to send their kids to college, and mine won’t budge.

My dad and stepmom are not in debt. My dad replaces his current car with a new $100k car every year and my stepmom spends thousands on jewelry. My dad has also claimed that he wouldn’t pay for an elite private school even if he could afford it, because he thinks it’s dumb. I feel like he’s doing this to get revenge on me for not doing exactly what he planned out for my future. I don’t know what changed after he claimed was willing to send me to an elite private school, but I feel like he is withholding support and putting everything on my mom to get the final laugh in this.

Anyways if anyone can offer advice please let me know if I’m in the wrong or if there’s any way I can convince him of the value of my school.