u/RockAndRollDoctor3

My girlfriend 29F and I 34M have been together for 1.5 years exactly. At the beginning of the relationship, and prior making it official, I was straightforward about me not wanting to have children. She also said she did not want children. It is one of the many reasons why we found each other to be compatible.

At the very beginning, we promised to each other that if anything ever changed, be it how we feel about each other or anything that could affect the relationship, that we would be honest with each other about it.

Last night she let me know that she has changed her mind about not wanting to have children. She let me know that she’s starting to feel like she would like to have children and I would like to experience motherhood.

This is something very important, as I am pretty dead set on not wanting to have children. This was a very emotional conversation for the both of us.

She let me know that she is terrified of “losing me” and that she does not imagine her life with anyone else other than me.

I let her know that her changing her mind about having children is perfectly normal and perfectly fine and that it is normal of her to want to experience motherhood and having a child.

We then took the dog for a walk and while walking again, she let me know she was not entirely sure 100% if she actually does want children. So she is afraid that we break up and then she changes her mind again and end up, not wanting children and then in her words, ends up losing me for ever”.

Now it is important to mention that last week we visited her very best friend in the whole world. Her best friend had a child two years ago, but just now we had the time to go visit the baby and her friend and her husband. While visiting, my girlfriend got very attached to the baby and the baby quickly bonded with her as well. So I don’t know if she is just having some sort of baby fever.

After walking the dog, we got some food and watched the movie and the mood lightened a little bit. When she started crying again and hugging me and somewhat joking that she changes her mind and that we can just get another dog instead.

I let her know that she needs to be honest with herself about what she wants in life. I told her that when it comes to children, it is very difficult to reach a compromise and that as we get older if she wanted children, and I don’t, one of us is going to be unhappy and maybe even resentful. I told her that I don’t want to waste her time if I cannot give her what she truly wants in life.

She told me “I don’t want kids with some rando, I want kids with you. I love you and I am terrified of a life without you.”

I guess I really don’t know what advice I am asking for. Maybe it’s even just hearing other people’s opinions.

I think we both know what must be done, but I also don’t want to make any sudden decisions without thinking things through first.

I have been thinking about it all night and all day today, and I think I deep down inside know that there is no way to reach a compromise regarding children, and that this relationship may be coming to an end.

Suggest a laptop

My 34M girlfriend 29F has changed her mind about children?