Relationship Management Systems & Apps
I attended a wedding recently, and I was so touched by the thought and detail that the couple put into everything. They truly cared for the individual well-being of their guests, including sweet handwritten notes on everyone's plate (they made me cry twice--once for mine, and once reading my partner's). It was a beautiful ceremony, and, because we have a ton of mutual friends, it was like a reunion party. Between the couple's thoughtfulness and my friends all expressing to me that they feel like they haven't seen much of me in the past few years (which is true), I left with an intention to better nurture my friendships.
Intention is one thing, and action is another. I need a system in place to reinforce the intention on a regular basis, and I'd love to know how others are managing their relationships. Obviously, no spreadsheet or app is going to magically overcome a fearful avoidant attachment style, but repeated positive interactions should help me to inch closer to being secure in my relationships. Plus, I'm an extrovert at heart, but I don't have social media, so all my interactions have to come from my own inertia. I just have a lot of fear and anxiety about taking the actions needed to foster emotional intimacy.
At work, I use calendar reminders and blocking for follow ups, but the scale of that may be difficult to replicate in my personal life. I'm looking for a way to help with the day to day admin of a friendship--birthday reminders, notifications if you haven't talked in a while, reminders to follow up on things, and maybe even things they like so you can make tailored plans or buy gifts to let them know you're thinking of them. I know I sound like a robot and a failure of a human here, but obviously relying on my own brain is not working.
Please let me know what tools, systems, and tips you have for keeping up with your friendships!