Traumatic loss of siblings and dad.
I don't even know why I'm sharing this. I don't know what I'm expecting from it. When I was 13, I helplessly watched my 12 year old brother die from severe asthma. It destroyed our family. He was also a twin and it was particularly devastating. At 30 years old, while I was 9 months pregnant, I received a call that my only sister had hung herself to death when she was only 32 years old. 7 years later, my father died at 60 years old with extreme depression. Half of my immediate family was gone by the time I was 37.
I struggle to relate to others. I don't mean that to sound rude or careless. I struggle to make meaningful friendships. I feel so awkward getting to know someone when we start to share our life stories and these are mine. Most people don't know traumatic grief. These things only happen in movies to them.
I'm 41 now. I'm tired of grieving. I also think I'm really "good" at grieving now that I know it well.
I think I just needed to type that out... Thank you for reading