People who were homeschooled do not lack social skills and they are are not dumb
I was homeschooled K-12. I was left less educated, and I had horrible social skills. Despite this, I have since grown into a well-rounded adult through practicing exposure therapy by intentionally doing things on my own that bring me out of my comfort zone. As an adult, I have grown into a very confident, socially adept, and smart person! I am currently excelling in college, holding a 4.0 GPA!
This is coming from someone who was extremely sheltered, did basically zero English, a little bit of algebra, and pretty much no science or history (abeka curriculum…)
It took a lot of work to get to this point, but I am very proud of the person I have become! Though I still carry a lot of internalized shame. The negative stereotypes I grew up being subjected to as a child still affect me. My entire life, I’ve had to prove to others that I am smart and socially adept.
As a child, when people found out I was homeschooled, I was often met with a wrinkled nose and an “oh,” and then they would either stop hanging out with me or they would stick around and give me random math problems to test my abilities. Not only would other peers do this to me, but adults would do this to me! After a few side eyes, weird looks, and uncomfortable questions, I learned at a very young age to lie and tell people I went to public school.
I’m 23 now, and the subject of school doesn’t come up much anymore with peers, but occasionally it does, and I still carry a lot of shame around being homeschooled due to the ridicule I received as a child, though I don’t lie anymore. I generally just avoid the subject and deflect questions. I still harbor a lot of internalized pressure to prove myself not only to others, but to myself; it’s exhausting. I feel like I’m held to a different standard. One awkward social interaction, or one dumb slip-up, is not seen as a normal human error; it’s seen as a representation of my lack of social skills and education, despite exceeding the average person socially and academically. It’s exhausting!
I just feel like something in the conversation about homeschooling needs to shift, because being homeschooled itself was very traumatic for me. But the constant social pressure and negative stereotypes are even worse; they are something that I have internalized deeply and are something I will probably have to battle for the rest of my life. Talking about the dangers of sheltering and educational neglect is necessary, but stereotyping is insulting and extremely harmful