u/Rude_Influence_2097

My mum & I are best friends. I’m only 22 and she’s only 59. She went for a routine heart scan today (history of family issues & her heart gives her trouble occasionally) after the cardiologist did her dye test he informed her she will need triple bypass surgery and that they will plan it over the next month or two.

I am so scared for her! I easily spiral and all evening i’ve been crying. Can someone please help me out with any advice for how to deal with this/ if anyone’s had it can you tell me it’s not so scary!

I’ve told myself she is going to pass away in surgery or not recover well.

Anything would be appreciated x

My mum just told me that my dad threw a plate at her once and cut open her face which lead to stitches and an ambulance. She also said he threw a glass in her bath which shattered and forced her to train to the hospital to get stitches.

For context: My father is a very emotionally unstable man, always has been. I (22f) have always known him to be up and down. He goes silent for no reason. For weeks on end he will not speak to me or my mum. We tip toe around the house scared to irritate him in fear of him blowing up (which he does do) he will throw things, curse us to the ground, tell us he is going to kill himself and anything else you can think of.

When he is not in a silent mood he is happy, laughing, generous & kind. Me and my mum go along with it and have never once questioned his why. We are scared.

He’s currently in a silent mood and said to my mum he’d like to have seperate bank accounts after 30 years. She didn’t question it and said okay.

Today, she will need to go through the accounts with him to show him what he’ll need to pay for. She said she’s a nervous wreck as last time they talked about money, the above happened.

I never knew he had made physical contact with her when angry. I am seeing red. She refuses to leave as she told me she doesn’t know how to get out. She forbids me from saying anything to provoke him as it “makes it worse” I am stuck.

My mum is the most gentle, kind, hard working woman I know and she is very scared. I have always known her to be but to find out he has been physically abusive to her in the past takes the situation to a whole new level.

I want her to leave the house with me but she won’t as she has tried before (in the 90s) and he found her.

Please can someone give me any advice, words of encouragement or a same boat situation story.

I’m not sure what i’m asking here but I don’t know what

else to do.

Thank you for reading. ❤️