Are we in the wrong? Husband and mother got into fight, not sure where to go from here
A few days ago my husband and mother got into an argument which ultimately led to my mother leaving our house.
My mother was over visiting and my children (ages 5 and 3) were not on their best behavior. Lots of big feelings, tears, emotions as bath time and bedtime were approaching. Instead of helping us with the kids my mom decides now would be a good time to clean the kitchen to "help me". She then commented she can't stand when my kids cry or scream. Fast forward to bath time/bedtime routine and my mom starts critiquing our parenting saying we should be doing this, shouldn't be doing that and our parenting choices are what is making our tired children act out.
We get the kids down for bed and then I needed to do something for work so I was not involved in this situation. Per my husband my mother started commenting on how we are incorrectly parenting our kids, how we are choosing to do so is what is making our children act the way they do. Also to add to context our 5 year old has issues with sensory processing so can easily be set off and has always been very emotional. A few comments my husband specifically quoted were that being at our house "can be torture" and "we will be sorry" with how we parent our kids. Also to add to backstory my mother has never been overly helpful in the child-watching department. She struggles with more than a few hours and when my 3 y.o. was born my husband essentially had to leave me alone in the hospital to help care for my then 2 y.o. at the time.
This argument escalated to where my husband made comments including my mother could leave if she doesn't like how we parent and she is not welcome if she continues to critique our parenting. Then he brought up my brother's mental health issues and how she only was successful parenting 50% of her kids. This was definitely a low blow. Ultimately my mom ended up leaving our house that night.
Since this argument my mom has passive-aggressively texted me. She has told me her and my father won't be attending my 5 y.o.'s birthday next week. She also said she missed spending time with my kids but was told to leave. There has been no apology.
I'm not sure where to go from here. My husband doesn't think he needs to apologize except to my brother. I am also 7.5 months pregnant with our 3rd, adding an additional stressor to this argument I was not even fully involved in. I really don't have the time or energy to deal with my mother's passive texting (every day since the argument). And I truly don't appreciate what she said about my kids. I am not sure if she'll ever apologize honestly. Thoughts? Are we totally in the wrong? Do I suck it up and apologize? Is it even worth the drama?
Edit to add: my mom lives around an hour ish away. She was planning to stay over to help watch my 5 yo who did not have school the next day so we didn’t have to use a vacation day. Just for added context!