I feel like I am too boring to have any relationship with another human being
Many different people have different standards for what is required for a relationship to work with another person. I am not even just talking about it in a romantic context: any bond with some reciprocity is also relevant in this issue I am experiencing.
I don’t know how to properly articulate it, but I feel like I have no real internal depth as a person. There’s just nothing really intriguing about me that others could find as endearing enough to develop a relationship with. I don’t think I am particularly intelligent in any meaningful way as most of what I communicate back I think are shallow, emotionally dull, and probably predictable to some. Although other people rarely confirmed the negative beliefs I hold about myself, I do think that when I compare myself to other people’s well thought out and insightful responses whether that be IRL or on the internet, I notice that my speaking style, even in my most exhausting attempt to sound formal, seems to sound way too basic for any meaningful interaction.
This leaves me unable to bring something to the table, so to speak, because observing my own behavior brings me to the conclusion that It would be very difficult to meet most people’s standards no matter how small or effortless these standards may look. It could possibly be that I have not a lot of experience to communicate with others about, as exchanging knowledge of any kind is central and practical for most interactions to continue for prolonged periods of time. But even with me having very little intermediate knowledge about specific niches, a conversation of that topic alone can fade quite quickly because I think there would always be people who know more of the topic, which would cause me to feel dissatisfied and inadequate.
Which makes it so difficult to be comfortable engaging in this subreddit along with any other. I’ve noticed that many of you guys type in a very particular way that shows very little flaws. You guys make smooth transitions from idea A to B, almost never use incorrect words in the wrong context, somehow perfect grammar that stays consistently perfect throughout different post and comments, and here I am barely confident that one small sentence sounds coherent enough. It sucks so much, I want to be able to interact with people more and develop my social skills, but I think that that you guys will be bored out of your fucking mind reading all these paragraphs and disregard them entirely. Hell, I even asked a couple of LLMs what they thought about the post and their comments literally proves my point.