u/SCARYsweet_

Around February/March of 2019 I met this girl, we really hit it off. I just went through a really bad breakup in January so she was basically my rebound.

She mentioned she was a witch and placed spells on herself for money, abundance, good luck etc. This wasn’t a red flag to me. I’m generally into dark alternative culture so I thought it was cool and exciting, and also kind of sexy. Even though she was a baby witch, I don’t think she knew her own strength and realized how powerful she really was. She just radiated this raw psychic power. She was the kind of person it was very difficult to say no to if that makes any sense.

Around the time I met her I had this weird dream about her. She ripped my heart out of my chest (like Indiana jones style, broke the rib cage and removed the actual organ). I thought that was weird but didn’t think much of it. I was really into to her for a while. But overtime the rose colored glasses came off and I realized there were no actual feelings between us. I realized she was just using me and we ended things on bad terms around July of that year. Never heard from her again.

July of 2024, I see her instagram show up on my follow suggestions. I saw her pictures, she dyed her hair black (it was blonde when I first knew her). I decided to follow her. She follows me back a few minutes later with a message saying she misses me. She remembers are conversations very vividly and holds those memories very close to her.

Around the time we reconnected she started appearing in my dreams again. I had a very vivid dream about her. We were in a motel room holding each other. Her hair was blonde in the dream like when I first knew her. A pipe burst in the bathroom and we were up to our ankles in sewer water. She basically thanked me for our time together. She said she felt she could really be herself around me. I woke up from the dream feeling good, but I took the sewer water as a metaphor. We had our fun, but ultimately she’s bad for me in the long run and I should just let the past be the past.

The problem is she kept appearing in my dreams for months to the point where I was questioning whether or not she was sending me telepathic messages. She had black hair in these other dreams in case this is relevant. I decided to schedule a face time with her and she was excited. We live in different states so meeting up would be next to impossible.

She flaked the first FaceTime. She felt really bad. She apologized and rescheduled only to flake a second time with no explanation.

I had one last dream about her. We walked past each other in a hallway. She had black hair. She looked at me rolled her eyes and kept walking. It was like she was saying “ugh you’re still here? Get out of here already”.

I think I got dumped on the astral plane.

I never dreamed about her again and that was the end of it.

I’ve considered just messaging her and asking if she was sending me psychic messages around that time. I’m not sure what I want from this. I think I just want closure with that experience.

The thing is I don’t want to give her the satisfaction that I’m still thinking of her.

Any experts out there who can give me some insight?

I was horrible at being a young person. I didn’t listen to contemporary music. I didn’t stay out late partying or doing drugs (I wasn’t cool enough to have those kind of friends). I couldn’t read social cues so I wasn’t getting any girls. In general I had no natural urge to rebel or be wild. I was a quiet nerd who stayed at home playing video games. Even as a kid I was generally well mannered and rarely misbehaved. I acted out more in my 20’s but that was more from depression.

I got diagnosed with high functioning autism last year suddenly a lot of things made sense.

I’ll be 33 next month, but ever since I hit my 30’s I’ve felt this sense of freedom like I’m finally comfortable in my own skin. I have more interests now than I ever did when I was young. I love working out and I love country and metal music. I feel like I can finally just be myself.

I see neurotypicals panicking around me because they’re getting old and pop culture no longer tries to appeal to them. I was never cool to begin with so I’m not going through that feeling of loss.

I was out of touch with young people even when I was young so it feels so good to finally be at an age where that’s socially acceptable.

Is anybody else having this experience?