u/SECRETLY_A_FRECKLE

I am feeling so sick I’m just sitting on the toilet shaking. It’s going to happen but I’m having trouble letting it happen I’m just shaking and panicking

Edit/TL;DR: my in-laws are extremely weird and off putting to be around, and I wish I knew that before having kids with my husband. I can’t avoid them anymore, so I’m looking for some solidarity from others with weirdo in-laws.

I’m wondering if anyone else will have experienced something like this. Ever since we had our first kid three years ago my in-laws have been visiting us weekly. Before having kids I saw them maybe 5 times in my 6 year relationship with my husband. My husband (35M), my MIL (60F) and my FIL (82M) really do not communicate well, if at all.

I do not understand these people. They have a 20+ year age gap, so you would think my MIL would be caring for my ailing FIL, but she makes him drive an hour each way once a week to visit us. They are separated, but still legally married and live together. MIL has a boyfriend, FIL chats with bots online. Idk.

My FIL is strange. He did not hold our firstborn until she was sitting on her own, and even then he would pass her off quickly. As she aged he would get genuinely upset when she didn’t want to hug him, like he would say “fine I don’t want to hug you anyways” to an 18 month old and he MEANT it. Now he just drives up, plops in a chair and literally stares into space for the entire visit. I’m not exaggerating. He will stare at the blank tv screen if someone forgets to turn it on for him.

My MIL barely interacts with our toddler and only wants to hold our baby, who is extremely attached to me. It really makes both me and my baby anxious, but my MIL tries to avoid interacting with my oldest now so I use it as a chance to get one on one time with my toddler. Every week both of my kids get crap sleep the night MIL visits bc she completely derails our nighttime routine. It’s like she’s cosplaying being a mother, she tries to relate to me but I really have no idea what the fuck she’s talking about half the time. Literally every single time she tried changing a diaper she put it on backwards. Every time. Without fail. She isn’t allowed to change diapers anymore.

In stark contrast, my own parents act like normal human beings around both of my children and treat them with love and respect, so we see them twice a week. Overall life is good, but my in-laws are so strange and I would rather not see them ever (my mistake for not wondering why we never saw them before having kids).

I have more stories about them but I’ll just get more riled up if I put them here. My in-laws are the biggest source of strain in me and my husband’s relationship. I just could use some solidarity from other parents with strange in-laws.