u/SRaeM92

Wife of an IBEW electrician here, so hopefully you guys don’t mind me asking. I’ve been reading through some of the Boise/Local 291 posts on here and figured this might be the best place to ask people who have actually dealt with this.

My husband and I are planning to move our family from Southern California to the Boise area. We have two little kids (a baby and a toddler), so we’re trying to figure out the least chaotic way to make the jump.

My husband is already on the books in Boise and is working on getting his Idaho license squared away. The part we’re struggling with is the actual timing of the move when he won’t technically have the job in hand until he’s physically there and takes a call.

We’ve kicked around a few options:

• He goes to Boise alone, stays in a hotel, takes a call and starts working, then comes back to California so we can move the family up together. The downside is he’d have to take time off almost immediately after starting because moving with two little kids is basically a two-day trip for us.
• We all move to Boise at once and stay in an Airbnb while he gets dispatched, then find a long-term rental. That gives us some flexibility, but I’d be handling the house hunting/tours with a baby and toddler while he’s working 6–7 days a week.
• We rent a house before leaving California and just make the move. This would probably be the easiest logistically, but signing a lease before he actually has a call/job in hand makes my husband understandably nervous, even though it sounds like there’s plenty of work.

For those of you who have traveled or completely relocated to another local/state with a wife and young kids, how did you handle that in-between period?

Did you secure housing first and trust that the work would be there? Did the working spouse go ahead of the family for a while? Airbnb/hotel until everything was settled? Something else we haven’t thought of?

We’re not looking for guarantees about the Boise work situation as much as trying to learn how other IBEW families have handled a big relocation without putting themselves in a bad position financially or making the move unnecessarily difficult.

Any experience or advice would be really appreciated.

I’m 33. I get going out every so often. Having a few drinks. Dancing. That’s great. But people who post to their stories at this age EVERY. CHANCE. THEY. GET. about how they’re woo-hooing and going to bars and raves all the time is so weird to me. I was a lover of bars and parties for a while. I used to go all the time. But I eventually got bored. It’s the same shit. Drinking and dancing and taking videos of you doing dumb shit. Don’t you feel stagnant? Doesn’t your brain crave something more than just being a stupid bimbo every weekend? Are you literally so dimwitted that you still get a zing from doing the same low IQ bull shit you’ve been doing every weekend for forever? I don’t get people who are around my age and just party all the time still. It seems so vapid and, to me, makes them look like dumb fucks.

Before someone says “AnY kId CaN bE lIkE tHiS,” yes I know, but I’m asking boy moms anyway.

My son is insane. Like a comic book character that was dropped into a vat of toxic waste. Like a mutant from X-Men. Is he the most handsome little thing I’ve ever known? Yes. Does he have all my heart forever? Yes. Does he have the biggest heart? Absolutely. But. He. Is. INSANE. He’s over 2.5. He’s always been VERY strong for every age he’s been at. And always all has no break since day one. It’s been EXHAUSTING. Screaming to where it literally hurts your ears. Whether he’s happy or mad. Hitting. Throwing. Biting. Scratching. Spazzing with his whole body because… just… Idk. Everyone to the hundredth power. He needs constant high intensity stimulation 90% of the time. And he’s going through the terrible twos, so everything is no. Even things he likes. And even things he asks for. He’ll be like, “Where are the raisins?” (He loves raisins) And I go, “They’re on the counter. Want me to go get them?” and he’ll be like, “NO! I DONT WANT TO!” And I’m just like, “…Okay?….” And it’s ALL DAY LONG. THE WHOLE DAY IS HIM JUST HATING LIFE.” Do any other boy moms who were like this have experience on when this will all end? I know in general that girls are easier earlier on but the easiness switches as boys and girls age. Girls tend to be tougher and boys easier. Of course, I know this is a generalization and not every boy and girl falls by these standards. But I’d love someone to tell me when their child calmer tf down. It’s been a battle since he’s been born and I hate losing it on him. I try to be so calm. My mom says she’s proud of how calm I am through it all, but I think I’m not so great. I just wanna enjoy my son. I don’t even like being around him now. Of course I still love him. But you know… it’s just been so hard…

I have a 2.5 year old boy and 6 week old boy. I’m trying to logistically figure out some sort of schedule that gets my toddler out of the house for activities, allows me time to get some cleaning/chores/errands done, how to handle getting enough sleep for myself, putting our toddler down for naps and sleep independently at night again (because he’s totally regressed) so I can have a break in the day to either nap, relax, or get something done.

I know newborns/infants change things, but there have been days where my son doesn’t even go outside and it’s made me feel horrible. At the very LEAST I try to get them both outside for a walk for 30-60 minutes, and at most I try to do activities/meetups with friends and my sister so my toddler can have outings and playdates. Currently I’m doing meetups twice a week but I feel bad because he used to do more and now it’s mostly just walks.

How did others structure their days with a toddler and newborn? When did things begin to start flowing? How do you manage getting ready for the mornings (kids dressed, teeth brushed, me ready, breakfast, diapers, packing items for an outing) and evenings (dinner, bath, teeth, our showers) smoothly with all the new variables?

For context, I have my husband to help me, so we’re trying to figure out a rhythm together.