How do I get over limerence when the person I’m attached to has cancer?
I met someone on Reddit last year. We had a really good connection, talked for a while, then stopped because we were both busy and he felt like things weren’t going anywhere. I moved on.
We reconnected in October and he told me he had brain cancer. I don't know what happened, but I instantly became extremely attached and limerance started.
We did have amazing chemistry but i knew i was more into him.
We started talking every day, sometimes all night. I’d reread our messages constantly and got that intense limerence high.
Then he’d disappear for a few days, understandably, and I’d have horrible withdrawals. In January we got even closer, and then in April he had surgery and chemo and understandably stopped replying.
Its been 4 months now
I know logically that he’s sick and this isn’t about me. But my brain doesn’t accept it. He’ll message after a few days, I’ll feel okay again, and then when he disappears I spiral. I know specifically now after surgery he doesnt even like me.
The problem is, whenever I start getting over it, I message him again to ask how he’s doing because I’m genuinely scared he might not survive.
I feel completely stuck between caring about him and being addicted to the connection.
How do I let go without feeling like I’m abandoning someone who is seriously ill? I really need to get my life back.