Due to me [23 F] having a higher libido, feeling undesired and having difficulties appreciating boyfriend [23 M] Looking for advice on how to manage.
It seems that I (23 F) have a higher libido than boyfriend (23 M) and it has left me feeling undesired. He is a very kind and caring man and is always there for me even in difficult times.
That being said lately it's been weighing on me a lot, because I initiate most of the time (90%?) and it makes me feel like he doesn't want me. (He enjoys it, when we get to it, just doesn't seem enthusiastic.) We have sex about 2 or 3 times a week, but I would prefer it more frequently and for it to last longer, both of us (or just me) moving until exhaustion, but I don't want to keep him from finishing, because I think that would make him enjoy it less. Physically PIV sex doesn't do much for me (only grinding) as I have only been able to come from clitoral stimulation with toys, but his gasps, twitches and the emotional aspect of it is wonderful. I also enjoy giving him head without anything in return.
It hurts that he doesn't seem to want me as much as I want him. He does give me compliments and play with my breasts or butt sometimes and it's difficult to keep myself from snapping at him, because I start to hope and then always have to be disappointed as nothing else happens. We're young and I want to live life to the fullest and it's like I'm missing opportunities.
I love him and I want a future with him. At the same time I don't want to live my whole life feeling like I'm not appreciated and wanted. He also deserves someone who appreciates him and loves him wholeheartedly, because he really is amazing.
I have raised the issue with him and we're working on it, but in the mean time any advice on how to manage these difficulties would be welcome. I want to be more patient and a better partner for him. If you have been in a similar situation how did keep yourself from being demanding or unappreciative? Did you change yourself and focus on the positive parts?
Tldr: due to higher libido I'm (23 f) feeling undesired and having difficulties appreciating my otherwise amazing boyfriend (23 m). Looking for advice on how to manage.