Daughter keeps hurting animals, I'm scared for her future.
Hello everyone, I have a only-child who is currently 5 years old.
(and sorry, English isnt my first language)
For context, she has had a very tough start in life, diagnosed with major depressive disorder few months ago. I took her to her doctor after she kept telling me she was lonely, that she wanted to die, and keeps trying to hurt herself or run away.
I suspect it's mostly genetic because I also suffer from depression, but her father hasn't been the best to her. He is a very stressed man and sometimes spanks her or yells at her. I do feel bad for her because the majority of the time he "disciplines" her for no valid reason. For example, on her birthday we were blowing balloons (me and my daughter) and scattering them around the house. Later in the day my husband came home from work, and one of the balloons randomly popped because it was sitting in direct sunlight. He then yelled at her to go to her room and told her that her birthday is "canceled".
After incidents like this she becomes very withdrawn and depressed. She says she doesn't feel loved.
Also, because she kept saying that she was lonely (which is true, she hasn't met any of her family, she's only ever know me and her father), I decided to set up a play date with a mom and her same-aged daughter that I found off of Facebook. A few weeks later my daughter has deteriorated mentally, so I ask her what's wrong, and she told me the play-date mom was hitting her whenever she made a mistake (accidentally coloring on floor after missing paper, not putting her dish in the sink, making a mess with toys). I confrontated the mom and she admitted to it, so I instantly stopped bringing my daughter there.
Now for the actual big concern, we have a neighbor who has a small dog. Whenever my daughter is playing by herself in the backyard, she'll call the neighbors dog over and start pulling and hitting it through the fence. We've caught her in the act multiple times. I asked her why she does that and she says she doesn't know.
A few months before that, we got her a puppy in hopes that it would help with her depression and loneliness, but she would purposely scare, hit, throw, and in general harm the puppy. We sadly had to give it away after she had an extreme allergic reaction.
In the backyard, she'll also throw rocks or toys at the birds and squirrels, and kill any bug she can find.
I've tried to discipline her by taking away her toys or making her apologize to the neighbor, or just putting her in time-out, but it hasn't helped one bit. My husband on the other hand has obviously physically disciplined her, but im concerned that might make her act up more.
I feel sad but also angry at her. I wanted to be a happy family but she refuses to even say she loves us. She barely plays anymore. She just sits in her room quietly doing nothing.
I'm concerned for when she enters school next year, because I don't want any outside forces to hurt her more than she already has been. But I'm also scared for the general future of my daughter because of the well-known fact that murderers start out hurting animals. I'm not saying I think she'll kill anyone, but I fear something may be very wrong with her at such a young age.
And what hurts the most, she was an accident that I planned to abort because her father at the time was obviously going to be at least a little abusive and mentally unstable, but I wanted to give her a chance at life. I feel so guilty for bringing this poor girl into this world knowing she would suffer, but still hoping she could be happy. But I also don't want to divorce him because I don't want her to grow up in a broken home.
I'm so conflicted, and I dont know what to do. for her 5th birthday she verbally wished for a new dad, but I dont know if a 5 year old knows whats best for her. I'm scared taking away her dad from her could worsen things.