Help a "lost" arki out :(
Hi fellow arkis!
I just needed to share and vent this one out.
I am in a slump.
I have been an RLA for 3 yrs but it feels like hindi ko fully na u-utilize ang profession. I don't work in the design / construction industry anymore since after apprenticeship. I passed the boards but the motivation to put up a firm or business of my own has never crossed my mind. For me, I don't have the resources to do so. Di rin naman ako pinanganak na mayaman to be able to risk it. No safety net kumbaga. I tried doing small projects but na trauma ako since nag negative kami sa isang project (around 45k) and after that ayoko na talaga sa construction.
I have been a VA (estimator) since after passing the boards. Kase for me it's the safest option. Be an employee. Log in, clock in 8hrs, then log out na. Guaranteed pa ang salary. But after some time, nakaka burn out din chasing the corporate ladder. Lalo pa na yung company ko is not really offering anything further career-wise. I didn't see myself 5 yrs from now and ganun padin ginagawa ko. So I resigned last March, again, no safety net whatsoever. I felt like I had enough.
I am now living with my boyfriend, since I am too ashamed to face my family. We do talk and communicate, it's just the "eldest daughter of an asian household" guilt that gets me. I know my family deserves so much after supporting my education. That;s why I keep my distance from them. Currently, I am employed as an outsource employee. Not earning much and barely even getting by.
My honest dilemma is, WHERE THE F AM I GOING WITH MY LIFE? I am so lost as to which career is really for me. I love architecture and designing but I'm no longer feeling that spark to be creative anymore. I prefer to play it safe and be a regular employee again but with the saturated job market, it's hard for me to stand out. I have been actively applying to jobs since April, getting interviews here and there pero wala pa din. Its really frustrating.
Any career (or life) advices are welcome! :)