Missing my grandmother
The one year anniversary of my grandmother’s is tomorrow, and lately I’ve been grieving her really hard. When I initially got the news, I cried, but after that I felt like I was doing okay. It wasn’t until about a month ago that the grief started hitting me all over again.
I’ve been having really vivid dreams, and my toddler has been mentioning my grandmother a lot lately. One day he was waving toward the door and said he was playing with her, and sometimes he pretends he’s talking to her on the phone. I don’t really know what to make of it, especially with the anniversary coming up.
My grandmother battled cancer for 10 years. She eventually had a stroke, and within a matter of days, things took a turn for the worse. She passed away before she was supposed to be released to come home. Then, the very next day, my dad’s brother passed away. Our family had already experienced so much loss before that, including my grandmother losing her son in a horrible car accident.
I don’t know. I just feel really weird and overwhelmed with grief right now. I keep wondering if my grandma is okay or if maybe she’s trying to reach me somehow. I don’t know what the dreams or the things my toddler has been doing mean, but with the anniversary being tomorrow, everything just feels so much heavier. I really miss her.