Lost in this situation, looking for comfort and advice.
Hello everyone,I’m so thankful for this subreddit, I was scared to post but today the love of my life L’ami is not doing too well :(
First I want to speak about L’ami (which means the friend in French, I’m French living in the u.s) L’ami lived in the street for a long time til we cross path, he started sleeping in our little outdoor room, I got him fixed, vaccinated, microchipped, he was pretty “wild” til may last year, when he decided to move in, he became a total love bug baby, and is still!
But this happy story became quite challenging (challenge accepted) last August I brought him to the vet because of his breath that became smelly, and after some bloodwork we learned that L’ami had some kidneys issues, his creatinine was 3.4. The vet didn’t speak to me about stage or anything but he got prescribed subcutaneous fluids therapy, as well as renal food, he hates renal food, I tried all I could find with his prescription and it was a big flop. We did the fluid, here and there because he also hates it…
In January this year, I’m bringing him back, his creatinine number had dropped to 1.6, my vet couldn’t believe it and said that it was good, and stupidly I thought it’s probably his teeth infection, let’s get them remove. Financially I wasn’t able at that time, I got some coffee gigs and last week was the day I wanted to start speaking about the procedure, we did bloodwork and his creatinine was up to 8.9… I was so upset at myself, I am still, wondering if those fancy gems that he loved were slowly killing him, the churu, the litter, the tap water (that I also drink)…
Today his saliva was greenish, I wiped his face and that was also blood, I called my vet and they got us this afternoon, L’ami has now ulcers in his inside cheeks, the vet gave him a steroid and told me that if it wasn’t working we will have to think of saying goodbye…
I have been pre grieving all last week and didn’t cry today, I also didn’t want to do it in the front of him.
When we came back home, he is full of life, he just jumped on the couch and is hugging my husband, he wants to eat but he struggles, probably because of the pain, I’m hoping the steroid will ease the pain…
When am I supposed to say goodbye ? :( I know food will be a big indicator, but I can’t even imagine in how much pain he is because of his mouth, I’m at loss of words, i have a call on Friday with the vet to assess the situation, part of me believe how this little guy is strong, he showed us so many miracles already (too long to tell) that he can fight it, but the other part is that it’s not how it works specially with issues like this…
Thank you for reading me, I’m finally balling crying, I had to step outside so he couldn’t see. I hope you are all well and sending you all my strength for your babies