Splitting everything
My boyfriend and I split literally everything penny by penny, and it’s starting to make me feel strange about the relationship.For context, I earn around £2k/month and live in London, so after rent and bills I’m honestly struggling quite a bit. He earns around £5k/month. He also talks about money a lot and is very strict about splitting costs exactly equally. What makes this harder emotionally is that he told me he financially supported his ex quite a lot when she was unemployed. Meanwhile, I work a lot and still barely afford living costs, but with me he mostly says things like “we can just do free things together.” I’m conflicted because on one hand I don’t think a partner owes me money, and I don’t want to sound entitled or materialistic. But on the other hand, the contrast really hurts my feelings. It makes me feel like he was capable of generosity/caretaking in a previous relationship, but not with me.
I also wonder whether strict 50/50 is actually fair when there’s such a big income difference. Sometimes I feel more like a roommate splitting bills than someone being cared for romantically.
At the same time, I know maybe he got burned in the past and became more guarded financially after that relationship. Am I being unreasonable here? How do people normally handle income differences in relationships?
Also: I said “I love you” first to him which he did not reciprocate and he said it takes time for him to say that, it has been months he didn’t say it.
TL;DR: My boyfriend earns much more than me but insists on splitting everything exactly 50/50, even though I’m struggling financially. What hurts more is that he financially supported his unemployed ex in the past. I don’t want to sound materialistic, but it makes me feel uncared for. Am I overreacting?