How to navigate partner who doesn't like raves and thinks it's unsafe for me to go?
Hi all,
I recently got into the rave scene. My partner recently told me that they just do not enjoy this kind of thing. They have attended a few shows with me to try it out. It just isn't their scene, which is totally fine - I don't force them to go, and respect their opinion. I personally absolutely love it, and decided to continue going solo.
I typically go sober (I don't drink or anything at all) to daytime shows. I usually find a group of other solo ravers on Radiate or a local discord to meet up with. Or, I just have my location on, text my partner or a friend when I arrive, when I plan to leave, and then call when I leave until I'm back in my car (if it's night).
The problem now is that my partner says that this is too unsafe for me. I am a woman, and being aware of my surroundings in any environment is not a new concept for me. I absolutely enjoy raving just to dance around for a few hours and listen to music I love. My partner says that this is unsafe and that he could ask anyone he knows and their partner would also have a problem with this. He says he won't stop me from going, but that he has a major issue with it. He suggested we continue to go together to avoid this, but knowing that he doesn't enjoy going, I feel like I'll just be worried/ feeling badly the entire time that he's not having a good time. It just feels bad and like it would take away from the enjoyment.
It's not like I don't want him to go (I'd love him to - if he actually enjoyed it), and it's not like I don't understand I need to be mindful of safety concerns. But then I feel bad suggesting he shouldn't come with me because I don't want to just monitor his vibe the entire time. That's kind of part of the point of why I go - to just disconnect, have fun and listen to the music. I go because I don't want to have to socialize or be mentally "on", if that makes sense.
It is not that I don't understand that people can be intoxicated and/or unsafe, especially in an environment that might be crowded or dark. I completely recognize that. I just also don't think I ever go to something without that understanding - especially sober. And I'm not someone who wants to give up something I enjoy just because of the possibility someone with bad intentions might be present. I feel like I can continue to do what I've already been doing (checking in, telling someone the plan, meeting up with someone I've already met before at the event, calling when leaving, location on, etc.).
So I guess I'm just looking for thoughts, ideas, etc.
TLDR: partner says going to raves alone is unsafe, does not enjoy going, but insists we go together to prevent being unsafe - despite this feeling like I have to monitor his mood if he does go, given his dislike for the event.