r/aves

Hi all,

I recently got into the rave scene. My partner recently told me that they just do not enjoy this kind of thing. They have attended a few shows with me to try it out. It just isn't their scene, which is totally fine - I don't force them to go, and respect their opinion. I personally absolutely love it, and decided to continue going solo.

I typically go sober (I don't drink or anything at all) to daytime shows. I usually find a group of other solo ravers on Radiate or a local discord to meet up with. Or, I just have my location on, text my partner or a friend when I arrive, when I plan to leave, and then call when I leave until I'm back in my car (if it's night).

The problem now is that my partner says that this is too unsafe for me. I am a woman, and being aware of my surroundings in any environment is not a new concept for me. I absolutely enjoy raving just to dance around for a few hours and listen to music I love. My partner says that this is unsafe and that he could ask anyone he knows and their partner would also have a problem with this. He says he won't stop me from going, but that he has a major issue with it. He suggested we continue to go together to avoid this, but knowing that he doesn't enjoy going, I feel like I'll just be worried/ feeling badly the entire time that he's not having a good time. It just feels bad and like it would take away from the enjoyment.

It's not like I don't want him to go (I'd love him to - if he actually enjoyed it), and it's not like I don't understand I need to be mindful of safety concerns. But then I feel bad suggesting he shouldn't come with me because I don't want to just monitor his vibe the entire time. That's kind of part of the point of why I go - to just disconnect, have fun and listen to the music. I go because I don't want to have to socialize or be mentally "on", if that makes sense.

It is not that I don't understand that people can be intoxicated and/or unsafe, especially in an environment that might be crowded or dark. I completely recognize that. I just also don't think I ever go to something without that understanding - especially sober. And I'm not someone who wants to give up something I enjoy just because of the possibility someone with bad intentions might be present. I feel like I can continue to do what I've already been doing (checking in, telling someone the plan, meeting up with someone I've already met before at the event, calling when leaving, location on, etc.).

So I guess I'm just looking for thoughts, ideas, etc.

TLDR: partner says going to raves alone is unsafe, does not enjoy going, but insists we go together to prevent being unsafe - despite this feeling like I have to monitor his mood if he does go, given his dislike for the event.

Which gets under your skin more?

Fan clacking 🪭

Or

Recording with Flash on? 🔦

Both are evil

hey guys!

for context, i havent been in school for like 4 years now, but im planning on going back to college for occupational therapy assistant and i’ll be starting some classes in the spring but my core classes in the fall. right now im a caregiver and im making only $16.50/hr, but they just released dates for thunderdome and ive been wanting to go soooo bad but im worried about how it will interact with school and work.

tbf i dont know my class schedule yet, but is there anyone who is actively in college, with a pt/ft job who still has the funds and the time to go to festivals? is the vibe for me to figure out my school schedule first and maybe find a new job that pays more to afford what i want to do? am i being too greedy trying to do 2-3 festivals a year instead of my usual 1?

how do you make the time? are you in serious credit card debt? do you just suck it up and wait til the next year but still go to shows instead of dropping a ton of money on flights, figuring out pto, doing homework and tests early or scheduling them for later, what is the right way to do it or the way YOU personally like to balance these things?

sorry if its a silly question since i dont necessarily have all the pieces yet, im trying my best to navigate through adulthood.

thank you in advance! :)

Hey

My dad (61M) and I (26F) are heading to Berlin soon. We’re both huge techno heads and want to hit the clubs together.

Musically, I’m into harder styles (Schranz, bochka, tekno), while my dad leans more towards traditional/groovier techno. Honestly though, anything with a top-tier sound system works for us.

Since it’s a father-daughter outing, we want to skip venues heavily focused on cruising, darkrooms, or intense fetish dress codes. Any recs?

Hey everyone. I'm from Saskatoon and going to Scream in Edmonton on Saturday Oct 31st. I have my ticket, but I don't have anyone to go with yet😪.

I'm hoping to find a group that wouldn't mind adopting one more person for the night 🥹🫶 I'm down to meet up beforehand.

I'm also open to meeting other solo ravers and putting a little group together. If you're coming from Saskatoon, even better, but I'm happy to meet people already in Edmonton too!

If you're going Saturday and would be open to connecting, please comment or message me!

21F🫶🥲

A few of my friends and I are headed to Athens and Istanbul for vacation. We haven’t been to a rave in years, any recommendations? We’re into the older techno type of music. We’re old school, what can I say.

Edit: we are over 50 years of age, not that there are over 50 of us. Group of 4 straight guys.

I really want to throw a rave in LA, but how do people afford venues?? Everything is so expensive. DJs are free if you have connections, theres some cheaper things like deco and lights that can be thrifted or found on amazon, but genuinely how do people afford venues? I have a job but the prices of some venues are honestly insane. I've never acc thrown a rave before so I'm honestly not sure how it works!

My boyfriend and I are moving into our first house soon and it will be a big lifestyle change for us especially with a disposable income. So we recently sat down, had a talk and agreed that for the first year we won't be going out and doing any raves, concerts, holidays, eating out or just any days out maybe on our birthday's (we're two days apart) and anniversary potentially. So we can get the feel of the new lifestyle and get an idea of how much money we actually have monthly for living the fun life basically.

I'm 25 and he is 32, I only started going to music events 2 years ago. My friend took me to a heavy mental concert and I loved it, then just over a year ago I went to my first Drum & Bass event and I fucking loved itttt, got the bug for it so badly. This year we have been to 3 with 2 more coming up in November. We live in the UK near Bristol and for anyone in the area knows that Bristol is one of the best spots for Drum & Bass events in the UK. Unfortunately with the house move we are moving away but we do have a friend we usually stay with when we go out.

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My question is for any house owners especially in the UK, how often do you go out to music events per year? And how do you afford it?

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I know we're probably be fine to attend 1-2 per year but I just unlocked something new in me and want to be able to experience it whiles I'm still young, you know. The world is an absolute shit show at the moment and god knows how long we got left before someone nukes us lol

Rough breakdown of what we spend on a night out for the both of us, so this is for two people:

• Concert tickets: £60-£120 (£30-£60 each)

• Fuel: £15–£30 (Extremely rough estimate as we haven't moved yet and the new place is 45 minutes away from our friend compared to 30 mintues)

• Parking: Free (On street-parking)

• Food: £20–£40 (We don't eat that much out, tend to eat before we go out)

• Drinks: £40–£70 (I personally don't drink that much, but number would be higher if we were in a group as we do rounds)

• 💊❄️: £80–£150 (Again extremely rough, we don't go that crazy and it's usually the 3 of us)

• Accomodation: Free (We stay with a friend and drive back the next day)

• Uber to and from the event: £40-£60 (Rough estimate again)

• Cat sitter: Free (Neighbour comes in and feeds them their dinner, we're usually back by early lunch so they have a late breakfast)

All together roughly between £255-£470, which putting it like this is a big number to spend on one night wow, we know probably one or two of the things we could not do and save on money but we only live onceeee.

new raver here. i'm still learning things about raves but there's been a confusing moment since i've attended my first rave and it clung to me for awhile. i am autistic so i really can't decipher social cues and rules.

so i've only been taught the basic of Kandi Trading, just the PLUR gesture. and not like the expectations.

there was a guy going crazy amongst the crowd and i thought he was so cool for that. i saw that he had Kandi so i wanted to trade with him.
i caught him resting and greeted him. i asked if he wanted to trade and agreed. we did the gesture and then i've slid my only Kandi to him and he broke off and we were done there. then i was left confused because i didn't get a Kandi in return, and reminded him it was a trade. he told me to not expect anything and walked away.

the whole interaction left a bad taste and kinda soured the rest of the experience. and this leads to my questions:

– am i supposed to explicitly ask first with someone if they wanted to trade instead of just approaching / initiating?

– am i really supposed to not expect anything in return? if that was the case, then why is it called trading??

This may be a weird post but after Wakaan I've come to realize that I may be too obsessed with flowing. I say this because festivals used to be my place to connect with my friends and strangers. Ever since I started flowing, now I just completely lock into the music and flow for hours because it's the only time in my life where my brain is quiet. But I'm realizing maybe I'm doing it too much, because after the fest my husband has all these amazing stories of connecting with friends and strangers and I honestly don't talk to people much, and don't even notice most of the things/people happening around me because I am just completely in the moment absorbed into the music. Maybe part of me is using my flow toys to avoid socializing. I used to have a close rave family for almost a decade and it fell apart, and after that raves just kind of changed for me and I feel more closed off to opening up to people at festivals. Idk how to balance this because flow brings me so much peace and joy and quiet in the chaos of life but I fear true connection is passing me by because of it. I wonder if always playing with flow toys makes you seem unapproachable too, because people don't want to bother you while you're doing it? I probably flowed at least from 5pm-3AM everyday at wakaan with minimal breaks. Sorry if this doesn't belong here, but I'm wondering if anyone else experiences this?

Is there anything going on anymore?

I left rave land years ago, and when I left it was usually Tight Crew and the folks that throw Hydrotechnics [festival].

I know there's a party in Sturbridge twice a year/seasonally.

But is there anything small going on in Mass, especially Western MA?

Alright, I’m doing stereotypical Angel, Devil and nun fits for a Halloween rave and I picked out my fit for an Angel. However, the bottoms are mesh and I don’t think everyone needs to see my holes so I’m trying to figure out what to put under it to keep my modesty (lol) that wouldn’t look horrible. Any tips would be helpful!

I know there are lot of progressive raves and I’m not into that I love hard techno raves but that niche is very low in SL. Any upcoming raves that you guys might know of?

My birthday is coming up soon, and I myself am a DJ. I am looking to throw my own event, but I am on a shoestring budget. Where are places I should look for a cheap/free place to throw one? It wouldn’t be a huge event, less than 100 people. Those who have thrown their own underground or rented a space, let me know!!