I'm in love with the girl from the coffee shop!
I’m in love with the girl from the coffee shop.
A till jockey barista, who just can’t stop,
Giving me flirty passing glances,
That make me think, “what are the chances,
You’d go for a regular just like me?”
Hell, I don’t even like the taste of coffee.
It’s you I keep coming back to the counter for.
More addictive than caffeine, it’s you I adore.
I guess what I love is the combination,
Of your icy stare and moody complexion.
Your hair is fine, but it doesn’t stop you,
From styling it into an iconic doo.
When you’re facing forward, I get lost in your eyes.
As you turn around, I’m drawn to your thighs.
You can’t blame me if my eyes get bigger,
When you're wearing trousers that show off your figure.
The problem is that you’re so hard to reach.
The coffee shop is no place for a speech,
About lovers intentions and things I can’t finance,
Most likely to be met with an awkward silence.
I don’t want to come across as nervous,
When asking you out during your barista service.
So how do I make a meaningful approach,
Without appearing like a human cockroach?
Luck would have it, I’d get my chance,
When I was out clubbing, having a dance.
Though it would come to me in a sudden flash,
I bumped into you when I was out on the lash.
The air was hot and the music was loud,
It was a bloody struggle getting through the crowd.
But as I clambered into your vicinity,
Your eyes lit up as you recognised me!
Out of the club we went-a-walking,
Over to a pub, where we got to talking.
You didn’t like my views on sausage dogs,
Crimes against nature owned by upper-class snobs.
Your dislike of the seaside gave me cold flushes.
How can you not like the two-penny pushes?
Somehow it felt like I’d bridged the distance,
By advertising myself as a man of substance.
We stayed and talked more about life,
Hopes and dreams and workplace strife.
I felt you were everything I dreamed you’d be,
I could feel you becoming my destiny.
Then as the bar began to quieten down,
I offered to walk you back home from town.
You shyly thanked me, and said it was alright,
You were getting picked up by a friend at midnight.
As I walked with you to the local bus station,
I could hardly contain my sense of elation.
If I wanted this to last, it was now or never,
I had to come up with a line that was really clever.
But I guess the nerves got the better of me,
In my tongue-tied state, I just asked simply:
“Tonight was real fun, I guess I’ll see you then,
If you like, would you fancy meeting up again?”
You gave me a smile and said you had fun too,
And that you’d love to have another rendezvous.
You’d actually said yes to this lovestruck goon!
I was on cloud nine, I was over the moon.
But then, out of nowhere, up rolled a really flash car,
With private plates and tires that glided across the tar.
“Oh!” you exclaimed, “here he is, it’s my ride!”.
The door popped open and you jumped inside.
As the window rolled down, I was a little sad,
When I found out your chauffeur wasn’t your Dad.
How could I tell? You ask this lovesick dog.
It was when she said, “hi babe!”, and gave him a snog.
Worse than finding out you were already taken,
Was the fact that you were, if I’m not mistaken,
Involved with a man who I can only assume,
Was twice your age and looked like a baboon.
Your wave goodbye was like a punch to the heart,
But I was left too shocked to just go and start,
Crying and lamenting over the fool I’d been.
I guess you weren’t the true love I’d hoped I’d seen.
This was a hard way for me to discover,
You should never judge a book by its cover.
Even if the contents seem inviting,
It’s what’s inside that’s really exciting.
I now realise that I have no place,
In a world where most of the human race,
Values fancy living and financial stability,
Over genuine feeling and romantic ability.
If all I can offer can’t compete with him.
What’s the point in love if it’s pay to win?
I don’t like dark thoughts, or feelings that are invasive.
But I realise now, money talks and it’s persuasive.