u/Sarabb26

I recently returned back to work. I have a cleaning business and a lot of my clients I’ve had for years. We built a personal friendship along with a professional. I have a certain client that is due to be clean. I haven’t told her what has happened, but I told her Aunt I clean for her also but more frequently…this client is pregnant and her due date was two weeks ahead of mine and she is pregnant with a girl like I was we shared our Fertility journey together She like me also had a prior miscarriage. She went through IVF and me naturally, but mine ended at 16.5 weeks like this …my question is should I drop her as a client for my emotional and mental health and for hers also I don’t know if I can handle seeing her go through her pregnancy watching them build a nursery going through all the things I should be going through I’m so happy for her and wish her nothing but the best and a happy and healthy pregnancy but I don’t know if I can haddle watching what my life could’ve been…what would you say / do if you were me ?

I’m here racking my brain thinking of questions to ask my doctor going to my follow up appointment after 16 week loss looking at my old labs the one thing that stuck out was my diagnosis of hyper androgenism I know I shouldn’t Google things but one little Google search and it said it can be a significant risk factor in cervical insufficiency and I should’ve been looked at closely through my pregnancy and on progesterone through my pregnancy makes me kind of mad thinking there was something they could have done with knowing my history Anybody else have hyper androgenism that had cervical insufficiency issues? If so, what was the treatment going forward? Have you found any answers? is there any important questions I should be asking at my appointment?

I’ve been struggling with the loss of our daughter at 16 weeks. We lost our baby girl two weeks ago. It was pretty traumatic as all losses are it started off after me getting my tooth pulled on a Thursday I noticed some spotting and some mucus with a tinge of tan color. I then called my OB and told the receptionist what was happening. She assured me everything was OK to relax nothing that Friday But then Saturday I started spotting light pink when I wiped and back cramps try to do some gardening but couldn’t thought I was dehydrated so I relaxed and drank A lot of water felt constipated and like I had to go to the bathroom, but couldn’t after crying to my husband and him finishing up what I couldn’t because I was too uncomfortable Went to go make dinner and went to the bathroom and saw light bleeding. I called the hospital immediately and they told me to come in. They gave me an ultrasound and she was healthy. Her heart rate was 163 and she was moving around yawning and looked so big. I haven’t seen her since nine weeks. After the ultrasound, I went back to the room and cried to my husband tears of relief I thought everything was OK. A nurse came in with wide eyes and said did they tell you what’s going on? I said no she said your cervix is short and it’s thinning. You’re probably gonna need a cerclage put your legs up and relax and the doctor will come to talk to you. I started googling it and the first thing I seen was lost my baby at 20 weeks due to what was happening to me so I threw my phone down and waited for the doctor. two nurses came in and did an exam they said your sack is out and there’s nothing we can do. We have to wait and see but your in active labor we would’ve done a emergency cerclage but you’re too far gone. It is too risky for you to proceed with that so we got admitted in disbelief and in shock I thought there was a magical way they could push it back in and she would be fine during the night. Me and my husband just held each other‘s hands. And cried I just wanted to sleep with her one more time and him as a family in the morning. They wanted to do another ultrasound as my water didn’t break and maybe they could call in a specialist and see if there was something we can do, but she had no heartbeat so the induction began. It went by fast and she came within an hour. I didn’t know if I wanted to see her but chose to I knew I would regret it. We got to see your beautiful angel baby and then we were home took two weeks off of work. We got her cremated picked her up put her in her urn. My mom stayed with me for a week. I didn’t really have any bad reactions until recently. I suspect a hormone related my anxiety can be through the roof and be very overwhelmed my husband seems to be taking it way better than me which is hard. That’s caused arguments and resentment on my end but I understand everybody grieves differently. He’s picked up slack and help me and reassured me. There was nothing we can Do but I feel totally alone but I know I’m not because there’s a whole community out there that has gone through the same. I desperately want another baby. I want a family. This is our third miscarriage first time was not planned. I didn’t even know I was pregnant second time there was a lot of bleeding and didn’t last long miscarried at nine weeks and then this one we found out she was a girl in every appointment. She was healthy and we lost her at 16 weeks and four days. I don’t wanna give up I’m 36 years old. I just don’t know if there’s any hope for me I’m feeling hopeless went back to work today. I clean homes first house was OK because no one was home and then my second house it was the first person I really seen outside my immediate family since everything has happened and I kind of broke down in her arms. I’ve known her for many years and she’s like a friend. I’m just trying to navigate through this is their hope for me to feel normal again one day I’m not totally in dread all day. It’s just certain times I hate the feeling in my heart and in my body. I already lost over 10 pounds and feel deflated. Overall I know my body is going through many changes. I just want to know that there’s hope after all this if someone could give me some advice, I’d appreciate it.