Trapped in a NatWest Black Mirror episode from Australia. How do I escape?
I appear to have discovered a rather impressive NatWest security feature: making it impossible for the account holder to access their own account.
I moved from the UK to New Zealand and have since moved to Australia. I still have my NatWest account, but I’m now stuck in what can only be described as authentication purgatory.
The card I normally used with my NatWest card reader expired in June. Because I rarely use the physical card, I only realised after it had expired. I assume the replacement card was sent to my old address in New Zealand.
No problem, I thought. I’ll update my details and order another card.
Except:
I can’t set up the NatWest app because that requires a code from the card reader.
I can’t generate the card-reader code because my card has expired.
There appears to be another valid card listed on my account that I could potentially use with the reader, but unfortunately that card has disappeared somewhere during an international move.
So the NatWest customer journey currently appears to be:
Need a new card? Log in.
Need to log in? Use the app.
Need to set up the app? Use your card reader.
Need to use your card reader? Insert the card you need NatWest to replace.
It’s beautifully circular.
Fine, I thought. I’ll call NatWest.
I’ve tried +44 345 788 8444 from Australia and have now developed quite a close personal relationship with the IVR system. I press buttons. I answer questions. It considers my responses. And then, with the grim inevitability of Black Mirror, returns me to what appears to be exactly the same menus after around 20min of international calling rates.
I have yet to discover the secret combination of keypad presses that unlocks the apparently premium NatWest feature known as “speaking to a human being.”
I’m in Australia and unlikely to be visiting the UK anytime soon, so popping into my local branch is going to require a 17,000 km commute.
What I’m actually trying to accomplish is spectacularly mundane:
- Update my address and mobile number.
- Get a replacement card sent to my current address.
- Regain normal access to my own bank account.
Has anyone living overseas managed to escape this particular NatWest authentication circle of hell?
More importantly, does anyone know a telephone number, department or IVR sequence that actually gets you through to a human being who can resolve this from abroad?
At this point I’m not even asking for good customer service. I’d settle for evidence that NatWest employs people.