u/Savantics_Fan871

i need help with how the story will go, as i just finished the first chapter and brainstorming other characters

so, here it is (or some parts of it)

“Only the dead have seen the end of war”

SPC Lauren Freeman

Maryland National Guard

The cabin of the Humvee smelled of stale sweat, grease and pure panic

Specialist Lauren Freeman gripped the pistol grip of her M4, her knuckles white against the polymer, the bulky frame of the M320 digging into her kneecap.

“How has an election gone to this?”

She’d wonder to herself, wondering how the elections have went from a heated debate to the collapse of federal authority months after, she remembers drinking a beer and watching the presidential debate on TV in Maryland, mocking the candidates like they were circus clowns. 

Well, now an inevitable civil war is happening due to the “clowns” in power disagreeing on the transfer of power

Suddenly, a loud, commanding voice burst out

“Listen up! TOC says that the D.C. National Guard are getting pushed back from the perimeter, we are 30 mikes out from the contact zone, ammo checks, now!”

Said her squad leader, Staff Sergeant Johnathan Mallory, now, Mallory was known to be a notorious slacker, usually slacking on the job, but seeing him this serious frightens her to the core. Hell, something big is coming down the pipe and they don’t know any of it

She looks around the Humvee, seeing many of her squadmates expressions, anger, terror, total disbelief or something else, they had every right to feel that way, the impossible had happened, America had fallen into anarchy and it is tearing itself apart

News came in that former presidential candidate, Robert Baker had launched a coup on the Federal Government in Washington D.C. the past evening, the President had been evacuated to and is secure in Raven Rock when the first report of M1 Abrams tanks rolling through the border of West Virginia was made by using satellite imagery, after Baker’s “Reclaim America” address was broadcasted live when he had retreated to Bismarck. Now, the fact that the reports were made a mere 30 minutes after his address, made it more suspicious that he was in fact, launching a coup on D.C.

Snapping back from her memories, Freeman would get herself together and perform last checks on her M4 before putting it down and holding it up by the handgrip of her underbarrel M320 grenade launcher, buttstock face down with the surface of the humvee supporting it.

“Get your ass together Lauren”, she told herself, checking the chamber, “just check you sector”A gut wrenching fear consumes her as she knows that instead of foreign instruments, she will be using her weapon on her own people as a harbinger of death.

The convoy would roll down the city line and the sky would turn a dark gray, Washington D.C.- a bastion of American democracy-is now a billowing wreck of shattered concrete and burnt steel. 

any advice would be good :)