AITAH for asking my sober house roommate to wear headphones in shared bedroom?
**update**
Corporate staff spoke to the roommate. I think it’ll be ok moving forward?
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Hi everyone. Weird situation here.
I live in a sober house. For those unfamiliar, it’s a group of adults in recovery living in a small house together (this also means shared bedrooms with 2-4 people per room). It is meant to support community, accountability, and the transition back to normal healthy living.
My roommate has a large speaker in our bedroom (think full-sized amp), that played music, loudly, nonstop when he would be home. It did not matter if I was there or not, and he certainly would never ask me if it was cool to do so while I was there/relaxing/resting. He would sleep with it on all night. (For context, my house manager warned me about him playing music all the time and said I’d have to figure out what to do about it)
My second day I asked if he could wear headphones or turn it off when he went to bed. He said he wanted me to turn it off when I was ready to bed. Felt like some progress.
It was a week later, and I’ve realized that he just has that thing going loudly at all times. One day he wakes up from a nap (where speaker was playing loudly) and I asked if he’d consider wearing headphones.
He lost his shit. Said I had no leg to stand on, having just moved in there when he’s been there for months. Kept getting angrier. Told me I was the one that should wear headphones to deal with it, and it was absurd for me to ask him. I calmly explained why it is common courtesy in shared space to be mindful of the others there and allow for shared quiet use of the space. Kept trying to bully me.
Talked to my house manager and explained the situation. I’m assuming him and the sober house owner messaged him, because he started wearing headphones sometimes and stopped talking to me.
But today I was taking a nap after work (he was also napping), and I wake up to him turning his speaker on, playing music on low, and going back to bed. AITAH I’m thinking he’s being a dick? I feel like I’m being trolled. I’ve tried to establish some boundaries and it’s going poorly over here.