u/Savings-Walk-5525

I met a girl through an arranged marriage setup, and we met three times.
The first meeting was mostly question-and-answer. It wasn’t awkward, but the conversation didn’t flow naturally.
By the second meeting, I had started liking her after the first one, and strangely that made me nervous. I’m generally a confident person, but because I wanted things to work out, I couldn’t carry the conversation the way I normally would.
The third meeting didn’t help either. The café had construction work going on, so it was difficult to hear each other and we couldn’t have a proper conversation.
Interestingly, she herself had said that people often have a bit of a facade in the beginning, so we mutually decided that we’d meet 2–3 more times in the same week before making any decision. I was actually relieved because I also take time to open up.
Those additional meetings never happened, and after a few days her father messaged saying the connection wasn’t established between us to move forward.
The confusing part is that on paper we seemed very compatible. Our daily routines, lifestyle, values, and goals aligned well. We both enjoy travelling, trying new cafés, are working professionals, and neither of us drinks or smokes.
I genuinely feel that if we’d had those extra meetings, things might have been different. At the same time, I know compatibility is more than shared interests.
She has said she’d like to stay friends.
So my question is: should I reach out to her once and tell her I still feel we didn’t get a fair chance because of the circumstances and my nervousness? Or should I accept that if she wanted to continue, she already would have, and move on ?

I'm a 30-year-old guy (turning 31 this year) and a complete teetotaller. I recently met a girl through an arranged marriage setup.

On paper, things look quite good. She's genuinely nice to talk to, our conversations have been decent, and our families know each other and are well settled. We've met a few times, and there wasn't anything unpleasant about the interactions.

That said, I'm confused because I don't feel a strong emotional attachment from my side.

Physically, she's around 5'8", has a broad build, and is on the healthier side. I'm also on the healthier side myself, but not that broad.

The main point of concern is our lifestyles. She enjoys partying roughly every couple of weeks, goes all out during her birthday week, takes an annual girls' trip, and has quite a few male friends.

The issue is that I'm quite different. I don't drink, I'm not into parties, and I have a relatively simple lifestyle. I keep wondering whether, if I were deeply into someone, I'd probably be willing to adjust. But because I don't feel that strong connection yet, these differences seem much bigger in my head.

Another factor adding to the confusion is that we're not receiving many biodatas through the arranged marriage process, and I'll be turning 31 this year. I'm worried that I might be rejecting a genuinely good person over lifestyle differences that perhaps could have been managed, while at the same time I'm equally worried about saying yes out of fear of not finding someone else.

Am I overthinking this? Has anyone here married someone despite not feeling a strong initial attraction or despite significant lifestyle differences? Did it work out, or did those concerns become bigger over time?

I am 30(M) and she’s 28(F). So, I got connected to a girl through arranged marriage setup, her father had shared her number so that we can talk and meet.

Our first meeting went nice, I liked the girl and we had discussed some basic questions like our routine and our past marriage potentials. The conversation wasn’t very flowy as both of us have the nature of speaking less. We met for around an hour.
After that, the same night, I asked her to meet again and she agreed, so we met after a gap of 1 day. I got nervous during our second meet and since I naturally speak less, I talked about random things totally unrelated to us. The second meet also lasted for about an hour, but I felt that it didn’t go very well. So, after our meeting I asked her how was it and she said it was nice.

After our second meet, I waited for her to text, just to know her interest, but she didn’t do it for 3-4 days and I texted her again and asked how to proceed. We decided to talk over phone but could do only 1 call. And after a gap of 7 days from our 2nd meeting, I asked her to meet again and the third time was decent and we had decided to meet for 2-3 times more before taking a decision. And again, just to see her interest, I didn’t message her for 3-4 days and was waiting to meet her on Sunday. But Sunday morning I received a message from her father, that they’re not able to form the connection to move ahead.

I kind of genuinely felt that things could work out between us, but I needed some time to open up and wanted the 2-3 meetings that she had promised.
Out of courtesy I messaged her that I respect her decision and she asked me to stay friends.

What do I do now ? I feel we have the potential to move forward.