Lately everything feels exhausting.
I started my career much later than most people my age, and now I’m earning way less than others around me. On top of that, the future of this industry feels uncertain with how fast AI is advancing. It’s hard not to feel replaceable or left behind.
Dating has never worked out for me either. I’ve tried changing my habits, my behavior, even parts of my personality, hoping that should make things better. But now those changes seem like mistakes. I honestly don’t know whether things fail because of me, bad luck, or just incompatibility.
Friendships haven’t been much better. I’ve been betrayed multiple times, and the only close friend I had slowly became distant because life got in the way. Most of my hobbies are solitary and indoors, so I don’t really meet new people through them either.
I tried making friends at work. At first it actually went well. I made plans, we hung out, and it felt genuine. But over time they became distant too. One guy I trusted completely ended up backstabbing me. The others recently made plans together without even asking me.
At this point, everything I do feels wrong somehow. Like every decision becomes another mistake eventually. I try to treat people the way I want to be treated. But never ever have I gotten the same in return. I try to help people when they are in need. During my need I have no one.
The loneliness is becoming unbearable. I can’t afford therapy, I don’t really have anyone to talk to, and I constantly feel like a burden whenever I open up. Every day feels more like survival than living. Nothing feels exciting anymore.
Thanks for reading this far. Rant over. Y'all have a great day.