r/MidTwentiesIndia

Unemployed people here. How do you guys keep up with the stress of being unemployed?

27 and currently unemployed. Father the sole earning member in the family. Getting super stressed due to unemployment. Been for 7 months now. Have applied so many times and have given only 5 interviews, all rejected.

Stress, overthinking and starting to think I am not worthy enough for any kind of job. Seems like my daily functioning is deteriorating and it's hard to see my parents face as I know they are feeling disappointed in me.

Also are you guys doing any free lance or part time work to earn atleast something? I don't even have the skills to do so...

FML.

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If you are suffering from any problems or want to vent about anything without being judge ..I don't care you are a male or female if you really need a listener do reach to me i would really like to hear you and give my best suggestion..as mental health is very important.. people aren't open about it in india so if you are really need a talk I am here

Mentally I've cut everyone off. Emotionally I still have love for some people but physically I just don't want to be around anyone anymore.

Whenever I hear stuff like "just focus on yourself and the right person will come" or "make a lot of money and improve yourself and girls will chase you,” I always had one question. 

Even if I do all that... how are girls supposed to know I exist? Like if I'm not on dating apps, don't have female colleagues, and don't go to any shared space like a dance class or hobby group, then how are girls going to find me? 

For me personally, the answer was cold approach. It basically means approaching walking up to a complete stranger in a public setting, like coffee shop, busy street, or malls to strike up a conversation and seeing where it goes.

Honestly I'm glad I figured that out. It taught me how to meet women when there's no natural way to, but also so much beyond that, like confidence, dealing with rejection, social anxiety, boundaries, all of it.

But I know not everyone can do that, or at least not everyone THINKS they can.

So genuine question… if you don't use dating apps, don't have women in your office or college, and have no third space where you'd naturally meet people... how are you guys actually meeting women?

What is something in your partner that would be a dealbreaker for you and maybe you can even tell me something that would be a dealmaker for you ?

Me 27M , they are trying to get my big brother married in arrange market marriage and found that its hard to find and keep up with the process .
They are now saying that i need to find a partner myself .
I said that i am depending on them on marriage as i cannot fantom the efforts maybe i’m lazy for efforts.
Now they are telling me your wish if you dont want to get a girlfriend than its your mistake and be alone or die alone (kinda threatening).
Im kind of finding it like people who found ooce are fighting to get married .
Here is my parents who are like this and i cannot win a partner lol! (Tragic).

What would you personally prefer watching?

A) A creator who’s genuinely hilarious without using any gaali-galoch

B) A creator who’s equally funny but uses gaali-galoch regularly

Assume both are at the exact same comedy level.

Which one are you choosing and why?

I used to think turning 25 would suddenly make me feel mature and fully sorted in life but honestly, it changed me in ways i never expected. priorities shifted, some friendships became distant, responsibilities increased, and my idea of happiness also started changing.

it’s weird how one phase of life can make you see people, career, money, relationships, and even yourself so differently.

curious to know what changed the most for you after turning 25, mindset, habits, friendships, confidence, peace, anything.

There's a lady in my office (She is a cute lady tho) and I think she joined a couple of months back I guess. We sit in the same row. Whenever I pass by her she stares at me. I noticed this a few times. One day when I just entered my work area I happened to cross her way and the way she gave a prolonged eye contact, it definitely felt different.

Every day I pass by her she looks at me. Even today when I sat in the canteen she came infront and was drinking water and while sipping water she gave a couple of glances at me.

What does this mean..? Shall I approach her.. why I'm asking all this is because I'm kinda doubtful if she is actually single because I see her always talking on phone. In the canteen, in her work space, near corridors etc. I'm suspecting that she is in a talking stage with someone or could be in a relationship too. That's why I'm pretty much doubtful about her.

Also I'm getting shy infront her because her eye contacts are driving me crazy that I'm totally avoiding any eye contact with her these days. 😭

What say reddit girls and boys, men and women.. shall I go approach her or shall I just let it pass ? 🥲

Few years back i had decided that I would donate at least 1000rs every month to anything. I did for few months but couldn't keep up because of laziness and i didn't want to donate to the same place every month. Also they would keep calling to donate more. 1000rs is not much for me right now (Plz don't beg in comments 🫠) but it was hard to see money go when i am such a frugal person when it comes to spending in other places like food, clothes or personal stuff.

Yesterday, a group came and asks to subscribe for monthly donation of 700rs for some orphanage and I couldn't say no. I become pretty gullible sometimes 😅. I wanted to avoid monthly commitments but did it anyways. Maybe i will keep a reminder to cancel the mandate in few months.

I want to know from you guys, Do you guys donate (monetarily or voluntarily) to organisations or some cause you support ? If yes, (how much/what) is it ?

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I have been dating my bf for sometime now,its a long distance one and we have never met in person. I like him in every aspect. He is perfect for me in everyway but he is a little skinny and I am fat.He is 46 kg and I am 65 kg. He is good looking, but he eats very less. I told him that we should both work on our body and I started working out.He even accepts it, since I mentioned it 4,5 times he felt like he wasnt attractive and told me that i should find a guy that is big and tall who matches me.He told me marriages without attraction fail and our relationship will also fail in sometime.Tbh, I was not very much into him lookwise, but i also dont dislike him. I like his personality and kindness. But now he wants to end it and be friends. I am so confused right now.

I started my career much later than most people my age, and now I’m earning way less than others around me. On top of that, the future of this industry feels uncertain with how fast AI is advancing. It’s hard not to feel replaceable or left behind.

Dating has never worked out for me either. I’ve tried changing my habits, my behavior, even parts of my personality, hoping that should make things better. But now those changes seem like mistakes. I honestly don’t know whether things fail because of me, bad luck, or just incompatibility.

Friendships haven’t been much better. I’ve been betrayed multiple times, and the only close friend I had slowly became distant because life got in the way. Most of my hobbies are solitary and indoors, so I don’t really meet new people through them either.

I tried making friends at work. At first it actually went well. I made plans, we hung out, and it felt genuine. But over time they became distant too. One guy I trusted completely ended up backstabbing me. The others recently made plans together without even asking me.

At this point, everything I do feels wrong somehow. Like every decision becomes another mistake eventually. I try to treat people the way I want to be treated. But never ever have I gotten the same in return. I try to help people when they are in need. During my need I have no one.

The loneliness is becoming unbearable. I can’t afford therapy, I don’t really have anyone to talk to, and I constantly feel like a burden whenever I open up. Every day feels more like survival than living. Nothing feels exciting anymore.

Thanks for reading this far. Rant over. Y'all have a great day.

Don't you guys theres just too much positivity stuff going on ?

Like yea things happen for a reason and stuff but you don't have to justify things positively every time.

Sometimes its best to sit back and think. The pain , guilt for whatever happened. Every emotion is not meant to just turned into some positivity lecture. Sometimes its ok to cry about things

Failures and sorrow are part of life and should be felt equally. Cz i think thats what develop your character in the long term.

For me personally i mostly take all things negativity in life. Like never being satisfied with myself or constantly thinking i can do better.

I use the negativity to fuel my motivation/discipline lol. But i think thats what makes me better in the long run. i don't do all that self appreciation stuff .

So yea i might need some positivity in my life 😓.

But what do you guys think about this narrative or am i just wrong ?

It’s not that women are attracted to toxic guys. They’re attracted to traits like confidence, assertiveness, boldness, and being unapologetically expressive.

The problem is a lot of toxic guys happen to have those traits, while a lot of overly nice, submissive guys don’t. So some girls (usually young or naive women) confuse controlling or dominant behavior with genuine confidence. That's why as they get older, they settle with the less exciting, but nice guy.

But you don't have to be an asshole to get the same benefits. Just copy the good parts, like confidence, assertiveness, social boldness, etc, and ditch the toxic shit.

I've been recently thinking about the things or situations we fear and have feared them since very long.

So i have been wanting to ask that if you can delete one of your fears (it can be anything), what would you get rid of ?

Saw one post here which asked what would you delete and felt like asking this question.

Twenties is the time we meet a lot of people, network and make connections, not everyone stays with you throughout and that's life but there are times where you over invest in someone and they end up not being worth our time and attention.

How do you deal with the regret of investing in such people?

Not even asking for something crazy.

Just want to wake up without stress, stop thinking about responsibilities for a while, and feel genuinely excited about life again instead of just surviving the week. Who else is like this?

A girl from a different office location has come to the office I work in as part of site visit. Since my workload isnt that much my manager told me to show her around the factory. But I genuinely I dont want to do this because I get insanely nervous around women. So nervous that no voice comes out of my throat. I get palpitations, profusely sweating, shivering hands, legs and BP becomes so high that it feels my head is about to burst. I havent seen a woman around me for the past 10 years(last I saw a woman was in 2017 in my school). After that I studied mechanical engineering which is infamous for having 0 XX chromosomes. Then workplace also has all men. Day in, day out I am surrounded by men only and its been going for 10 years. For the first time in 10 years I will have my first interaction with a woman and really dont want to mess it up by not being nervous and destroying my image, my managers image in front of her. What should I do?

Please help me

Okay so this is going to sound like a movie plot and I promise it’s real.
There’s a guy who helps run his family’s grocery shop literally ten metres from where I live. We’ve known of each other for almost four years now. Same age group, both from the same area, have seen each other constantly.
In four years we have never had a real conversation. Shop transactions only, “kitne ka hai” level stuff. That’s it.
But here’s the thing. The signs from his side have been consistent for four years. He stares (not creepily) like genuinely, customers standing in front of him and he’s staring at me walking past. He told his friends about me at some point, I could tell from their reaction when I walked by with my best friend. He was visibly jealous of my ex when I used to be with him. When I went away for nine months he literally took a U-turn the first day I was back to confirm it was me. Today he looked at me four separate times on the road and got distracted serving another customer because he thought I was talking to someone I liked. I was talking to my family friend lol.
And from my side, I have had some version of feelings for him for four years. Not constantly intense but always there underneath.
The problem is neither of us speaks. We both go completely weird and awkward in each other’s presence. I “um” my way through four words. He abandons his counter. We walk toward each other and both stare straight ahead. It’s been four years of this.
I feel like a teenager around him who can’t form words😭😭
I want something to happen but I genuinely don’t know how to make it happen when even basic proximity makes my heartbeat go to 180.
Has anyone been in a situation like this? How did you break the silence? And is it worth even trying when we’ve never properly spoken?

Tell me something you're incredibly proud about yourself ?

or

that is like an achievement for you ?