r/MidTwentiesIndia

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Bro, how are you filtering the girls whose marriage proposals you're getting?

I mean, I had rate myself around a 7/10, but the girls whose proposals are coming my way are all 9/10 in my eyes. It's honestly getting difficult to filter them.

I've already turned down the ones who seem way out of my league, but how do I choose among the rest? I'm getting two or three proposals every month.

Sometimes I even wonder they could have had a love marriage, so why are they entering the arranged marriage process?

Help your bro out.

We see each other but never interacted.

I accepted the req and then she cancelled it.

What was that all about?

Joined a Non-BLACKI tier 1 MBA around a week back. Been hellish ever since for several reasons. Not felt this suffocated in forever. Maybe it was also a mismatch between my idea of what MBA is like and the reality. Honestly, not even that much to do with the course, but about my ability to fit in socially. I'm unable to talk to anyone here, feel very isolated, and constantly having a racing heart.

I've always had mental health issues throughout my life, and now they are already flaring up pretty badly to be very honest. I'm having incredibly morbid thoughts and ideations.

My mom called and said please come back if you think this is unbearable. And I think I might.

The future scares me, about having to answer this to others, but I feel so numb rn. Rn for me everything is the bleakest it has been in ages, I'm regretting every single decision that made me give my entire life to CAT for last 1.5 years, and regretting my whole life in general.

My gf and I broke 2 months back, she was with me through everything that happened in last 17 months, I was actually struggling, she helped me in my drug addict phase, she was there for me and now we broke up, I don't blame her, I made a mistake, it was not cheating or anything but a mistake big enough for us to end things.

Month back I tried going on dates, casual sex it just doesn't work anymore.

And now from last 20 days she's in my dreams as well, I imagine scenarios with her, It's like I am going insane, it's honestly she's right besides me, and then suddenly she isn't here, it's insane, I don't feel sad because I feel like she's right here in my sleep, most of the times when I am up, she's in my mind, It's been 3 weeks since I saw her or heard her voice.

Whenever she isn't in my imagination, I get sad and there seems to be a void and I do get angry, however whenever I am imagining and I believe she's with me, I am pretty much calm.

I am certainly going crazy and it's pretty stupid, I know.

Ye cheez kaafi time se mujhe genuinely disturb kar rahi hai.
Main apna normal kaam kar raha hota hoon……padhai (neetpg ke liye gynaecology padh raha tha aaj), gym, work, ya bas kuch bhi random…..and achanak se dimaag mein ek thought aa jaata hai:

EK DIN MERI EX KISI AUR KE SAATH INTIMATE HOGI 😭

Main jaan-bujhkar ye nahi sochta. Ye thought literally bina warning ke aa jaata hai aur ekdum shock jaisa lagta hai, jaise kisi ne stomach mein punch maar diya ho. Kuch der ke liye mood bhi kharab ho jaata hai aur mind bhi.

Logically mujhe pata hai ki breakup ke baad har insaan ko move on karne aur kisi aur ke saath relationship ya intimacy explore karne ka full right hai. Main ye nahi pooch raha ki ye sahi hai ya galat.

Mera question bas itna hai ki tum log iss thought ko emotionally kaise handle karte ho?

Kya tumhare saath bhi kabhi aisa hua hai ki bina kisi reason ke ye thought aa gaya ho? Agar haan, to usse deal kaise kiya? Time ke saath bas theek ho gaya, ya kisi particular perspective ne genuinely help ki?

Would really love to hear your experiences.

Edit: Kaafi log shayad meri post ka point miss kar rahe hain.
Main ye bilkul nahi keh raha ki mere ex ko move on nahi karna chahiye ya kisi aur ke saath relationship ya intimacy nahi rakhni chahiye. Unka poora right hai, jaise mera hai.
Mera question sirf us random emotional gut punch ke baare mein tha, jab bina kisi reason ke woh thought achanak dimaag mein aa jaata hai aur kuch time ke liye disturb kar deta hai, even though logically tum jaante ho ki breakup ke baad sab apni life mein aage badhte hain.
Main ye jaan’na chahta tha ki log us phase se kaise nikle aur us feeling ko kaise handle kiya. Bas itna hi.

I run, go to the gym, play badminton, go to new restaurants and cafes, earning enough to support my family - but what's the point of it all?

It's like I'm chasing one thing after the other. A never ending chase. I'm not happy, but I'm not sad either. Life is just... going on.

The sun rises everyday, and sets everyday. It keeps going round and round, and it will keep going on that way way long after me and everyone I know is no more.

There are people born with a silver spoon in their mouth who will never work as much as I do. They got the headstart in life. And I just feel like I reached the starting point a few years ago.

I had lots of hope and dreams when I was in my teenage. I was happier. I loved the chase, the grind. But is that all to life? Overtime I have started questioning my choices.

Being born in a country like India, where basic necessities are also compromised, it feels as if I've not even reached the starting point. I want to enjoy a walk in the park without being bothered by noise and dust and pollution and people staring at me. A very basic thing. But that will never be my reality.

I don't know why I made this post. Maybe it's just something that should be in my journal, but I wanted to tell someone about how I feel. And know that someone knows how I feel.

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M-24 here, this feeling actually started last year, after my dad passed away and uncle after some months,, I switched to alcohol and drugs, though now refraining from it.

Since then I was with this girl, have a supportive family and friends but honestly each and every one of them supported me, but there is a feeling of loneliness and sadness that never dies.

Recently my girl and I broke up, and the feeling obviously has intensified but it was still there even when we were together.

This honestly does not go away at all, no matter what I do, I have tried therapy as well, now stopped.

I am with my family and cousins in a house get together and each and everyone of them loved me, but that feeling? Does not go away, like there's a void which is still there.

Hey guys, how are you doing?

So how's your life latelyy?

Share your best 3 happy moments of June.

I don't use insta, so my mom keeps sending reels on WhatsApp about how crazy and fun MBA life is. She shared videos of IIM A induction, IIM C freshers, heck even a video from someone of my college having fun! (Non BLACKI tier 1).

But here I am, no friends, no interaction with opposite gender, and almost 2 weeks in now. Put so much efforts in, but nothing is working. I feel so isolated. I've started seeing the college counselor coz I was having morbid thoughts, and she has scheduled weekly sessions now, which I'm very grateful for.

But the reels fill me with more sadness again and again. MBA was my hope for making true friends and being more expressive, I've always been quite a lonely person. Kuch sapne sapne hi reh jaate I guess. Feels like the 2 years will feel very long abd arduous now......

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Posted this a few hours back on the Thirties Sub as well

If you're going through something and feel like talking, I'm happy to listen without judgment. Whether it's stress, relationships, work, family, or just a rough day, you're welcome to message me.

I'll do my best to offer a respectful, supportive conversation and a listening ear and maybe a solution only if you need.

Both Men and Women are welcome to my little hut it's your safe space

I see a few people my age starting to have kids and it's gonna be a lot more in the next 2 years I believe. But I don't feel capable or mature enough to do that at all!

I still feel like the same kid I was at 18, right out of school having no clue what he wants to do with his life and where his choices will take him.

Hey guys. I work a hybrid job. Sometimes I work from home because my parents prefer that I don't go to the office every day.

The problem is... whenever I'm WFH, I'm constantly on my phone because that's literally how I communicate with my manager. We use Microsoft Teams and WhatsApp for work updates, quick questions, approvals, etc. So yes, my phone is in my hand a lot during office hours.

But my parents have convinced themselves that I'm talking to some guy instead of working. 😭 They'll make comments like, "Who are you chatting with?" or "You're always on your phone."

The funny part is... I'm very single. No boyfriend. No situationship. No talking stage. Nothing.

Every time this happens, I tell them, "You can check my phone if you want. It's literally work messages." And they don't even check my phone.

I know they're probably just worried, but after hearing the same accusation over and over, it's starting to get to me. I hate feeling like I have to defend myself for doing my job.

Has anyone else dealt with this? More importantly, how do you stop letting these kinds of accusations affect you mentally? I know I'm not doing anything wrong, but they still sting.

Would appreciate any advice. Thanks.

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It's already July and there is only few months here and there left and almost Everytime I get this feeling when a new month arrives because I'm not doing nothing with my life. I feel like I'm still living my life as if it's 2016. Maybe because of the fact I'm living in isolation and barely stepping out in real world. Like I just feel I'm carrying shame and failure then I also gotten lazy and unmotivated to do anything therefore I'm continuing living in this pattern of self sobotaging and rumination. I don't have a job, no college degree, don't drive, no friends, no future goals and ambition. Maybe life requires good attitude and mindset

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TLDR: My boyfriend says he can't love me but won't let the relationship go. After a frightening pool incident and several disturbing comments, I'm scared to break up with him. Are these serious red flags, and how do I leave safely?

I've 26 (F) been seeing this guy 28 (M) for about two months, and I'm genuinely confused about what this relationship even is. We have broken up, patched things up multiple times.

When we first met, I wanted something casual. He was the one who kept pushing for something more serious. But every time I wanted exclusivity or asked where this was going, he'd tell me that I'm not really his type, that I don't check his boxes, and that he still needs to meet other people. Yet whenever I try to distance myself or end things, he insists we shouldn't break up and that we should "see where it goes."

Recently, we went on a trip together. We met a couple who got married after knowing each other for just a week, and we were both amazed. Later that evening, he jokingly asked if I'd marry him. I said yes because I assumed it was a joke too. Later, he admitted it was. But he refuses to believe I knew he was joking.

Earlier that day, he had also told me that he likes me a lot but can't love me because we have too many differences. He is from a conservative north Indian family, and I am an east Indian woman. He says we were brought up differently, have different values, and that I don't fit what he wants in a partner. When I asked why he was still trying to make this relationship work, he said he doesn't want to be rigid and wants to explore whether he can "deal with me."

That sentence has stayed with me.

Another thing happened on the trip that really shook me. It was my first time in a swimming pool, and I don't really know how to swim. While we were playing around, he repeatedly pushed me underwater. I panicked because I genuinely couldn't tell if I was okay. My friend got angry, pulled me away from him, and told him, "Don't manhandle her. You're going to kill her."

He was clearly upset that she intervened. Afterwards, he started criticizing me, saying I'm the product of the five people I hang out with, calling me "badtameez," and saying that's my default personality and I'll never change. He also told me how female friendships are of zero values. We fought after that.

I was extremely frustrated and ended up apologizing to him for "ruining the trip," even though I'm not sure I actually did.

On our way home, I read a piece of news to him that said a man has drowned his 6-month-pregnant wife in a bucket. He said "she must have been like you." I was too stunned to speak.

Since we've come back, things have been distant. We've barely spoken compared to before. I'm also sick now, so maybe that's adding to everything emotionally.

Here's what I know: I want to be loved. I don't want to be with someone who says they like me but can't love me. I don't want to spend months hoping he'll change his mind.

At the same time, I can't seem to leave. I'm very physically attracted to him, and I've become emotionally attached too.

Part of me wants to tell him the truth—that this relationship isn't giving me what I need. Another part of me is scared of how he'll react. He's said things before like his blood boils at the sight of me when he's angry, and because of that, I'm honestly nervous about ending it. Some friends suggested I tell him my ex came back into my life and I have unresolved feelings, just to make the breakup easier. But I don't know if lying is a good idea, and I'm worried that hurting his ego could make things worse.

Am I overthinking all of this? Does his behavior sound like someone who's genuinely conflicted, or someone who's keeping me around because it's convenient? And if you were in my position, how would you end this relationship safely?

My office organized a party today. It was fun for a while when it suddenly hit me and I got conscious.

There were people laughing, talking about things I had no idea about, important adult stuff. I quietly went and sat down besides a guy whom I know just by his face. I didn't know his name.

There were girls dancing, raising their glasses and giving out loud cheers. They all seemed happy and were present in the moment.

While I was just there. The songs became noise to my ears and I was trying to groove to the beats, but I just couldn't feel it.

And this is not a one off thing. Even in my office I seldom know what to talk about, or rather I just cannot get myself interested enough to know about someone's life. I can't figure out how much I should ask them, where I should draw the boundary.

I start analysing situations and conversations instead of just being there and letting it flow. I am socially awkward, I'll not deny, but how do I get better at it?

Anyone who has gone through something similar? IDK if it even makes sense.

For some context -

Face shape/structure: Oval (the closest match would be Dev Patel but his face is slightly longer and his chin is slightly more pointed than mine).

Beard style: Tony Stark's beard without the side anchors (I think this is a Van Dyk beard right?)

I wear specs but only when I'm outside.

Currently my hair is in the "awkward phase" and is like Messi's 2006 world-cup hair (not as voluminous right now in the middle, but yeah the pattern of growth and hair curve at the ends are similar). 

So will a center/middle part longer hair look good on me or is there any other hair style that would suit me better?

Just would like to know your opinions on this and how did it go

Hypogamy - Act or practice of seeking a spouse of lower class or socioeconomic status.

Eg. You mother marries into lower financial or social status family, meaning your maternal grandparents, uncles and aunts are all living with notably greater comfort or status above you.

PS- Choose between a loving family in hypergamy vs loving family in hypogamy.

I am a dusky woman with sharp features and some regular scars which do not bother me much anymore. But in the childhood I was always ignored & was treated as invisible in my friends' group. My closest classmate in school had fair complexion and had no acne or scars ever and she was always praised for her looks, no other substance . I communicated her the fact how much insecure I feel when everyone compared our looks when we were together, but she conveniently enjoyed the fact it seemed . I felt left out. At times it also seemed she had an unspoken upper hand when it was about deciding something. Once she got proposed in the school corridor by a senior and I was just invisible there. It made me cry. I grieve that moment so much even as an adult. I have been praised for my articulation, dressing sense, merit & intelligence but never for how I look.

I have been feeling v disturbed since last night & these thoughts suddenly flooded my mind. I could not pass this thought

Asked this in another sub also. Now want to know it from ppl of my age range. Someone stopped talking with me since I didn't share my name with him. I was lowkey liking our talks bt I hesitated to share my name.