u/InfamousComputer404

People say one can choose only two things from health, money, and love. And that has proved to be so true for me.

I got a job and decided to get in a relationship. But the relationship came in between my health and other ambition, so I had to let it go.

But now that I'm focusing on my health and money, I don't have a love life.

I sometimes wonder how people balance their health goals and love life, but then I realise that a lot of them come from upper economic class.

And that's where is all messed up. However much I try, however much I fight, there's this invisible glass ceiling that I cannot cross alone with proper support system.

Especially in a country like India, where each and every person and system is out there to get you and bind you to shackles.

Half of my life is gone and I don't have anything to show for it, and I'll not get anything worthwhile for my work in this country.

I wonder if they are delusional or the hype is so much that people are willing to give that much money as donation to get a bib.

I googled and it shows that the monthly median salary of India is around ₹30k. What are they even thinking asking these ridiculous amounts?

I'm never running a ProScam event again.

I need recommendations for good brands for trousers, chinos, jeans, etc.

I am looking for new clothes and want brand recommendations for bottom wears. Especially those that have waist sizes available in cm and odd number sizes.

I found Decathlon's Golf Cotton chinos and Uniqlo's chinos. But the Decathlon one mentioned that it's comfortable to wear between 10-20 degree temp.

I want something that lasts for some years at least without fading after a few washes.

I once bought Levi's jeans but it didn't last as long, whereas I've been wearing a Lee Cooper for some years and it still seems good to go.

I am looking for new clothes and want brand recommendations for bottom wears. Especially those that have waist sizes available in cm and odd number sizes.

I found Decathlon's Golf Cotton chinos and Uniqlo's chinos. But the Decathlon one mentioned that it's comfortable to wear between 10-20 degree temp.

I want something that lasts for some years at least without fading after a few washes.

I once bought Levi's jeans but it didn't last as long, whereas I've been wearing a Lee Cooper for some years and it still seems good to go.

If so, how much do you need to donate to get the bib? Any idea?

Usually I keep myself busy with my life but there are some days when my mind just wanderes and I end up thinking about old days. I guess tonight is one such night.

I know deep down that I shouldn't contact them for both mine and their mental wellbeing. But how do I fight the urge? Or should I even fight it?

I don't know if I miss them or I miss the feeling of talking to them or it's just nostalgia, but it seems so pathetic for myself.

In the past, I have ended up contacting some people I went on no contact with, but it turned out bad. At that moment my whole being wanted to never contact them again, but here I am back to square one.

The story is that I had to go to my room from the metro. As I got out of the station, I saw that the road beside the footpath had ankle deep waters.

I didn't want to get my shoe wet and dirty, so I decided to book an auto. An autowalla accepted my ride and I waited. But the other autowallas had blocked the road beside the footpath.

So when my auto came, I could see it standing a bit away from the footpath since it was occupied by the other autos. I asked a couple of them to move their autos so that my ride can come nearer. One smirked at me and another just ignored me. Finally I had to cancel it.

When I asked the autowallas standing there the rate, they quoted 5x the amount. So I finally went to the other metro gate and none my ride.

Another incident happened a couple of days ago. I usually pay ₹10 for the e-rickshaw ride. Since it was raining that day, they demanded ₹20, which I was fine with. But when I reached my destination, he demanded ₹40, just because I asked him to drop me 200m further.

Incidents like this makes me realise how money minded people are here. In another incident, a doctor recommended a procedure just to extract money from me. I went for a second opinion and got to know that there was nothing won't.

It's like the whole city is riddled with scammers ready to take whatever they can from you. No doubt it feels so souless here.

Seeing the condition of infrastructure and the behaviour of the govt officials, I've realised that taxation is just hafta wasooli, but legalized.

I'd be damned if I had an emergency or if I had to face a govt official.

Today I ran 5km after around 3 weeks. Whole running out was all good and even after I finished my run, I was fine.

But then after I come down and returned home, I started facing pain in the lateral part in knee.

I really want to take part in TMM, but I can't anymore. I haven't run a HM belt, so I was planning to run a HM this weekend and then register, but that won't happen anymore.

I do stretches before and after running, but IDK what went wrong. Any tips to heal my leg quickly?

Every other day or week there's a new issue that comes to light, whether it's a scam, a protest, an accident, a heinous crime, an injustice, AQI, food safety, and the list goes on. Nothing seems to be working without some adjustment.

As a boy from a middle class family, I was always time to work hard and eventually I'll do well enough and climb the wealth ladder, but every other thing is a struggle here.

It pinches so much that you have this motivation, ambition that tells you to keep pushing on, but then you realise that every step is a struggle.

I think this is what keeps people in middle class - struggle. We are shown enough dreams and made to believe enough that we keep on working hard but there's enough struggles that we can never come out of the struggle.

I grow lots of body hair and I hate it, especially during summer and humid months. I have been trimming but it's tedious and time consuming. And my hair can grow over 1cm in 2 weeks.

I thought of going for full body waxing, but apparently such services aren't available easily, also they seem shady wherever they advertise (spa and similar places).

Has anyone here tried waxing on your own? Shaving is a no because of ingrown hair and it's itchy too. What other options are there?

It's annoying when even older colleagues are giving advice to get married.

Sometimes it gives me anxiety when they keep in asking the same stuff and saying that I'm getting late. Mind you, few of these are people of my age.

I don't want to be rude to them, so how should I handle it? Earlier it was just my parents, now it's like everyone is so keen on my marriage.

I understand they're just having fun at my expense, but I don't know what reply to give them.

Some of the things that I've heard from my ex and a friend-

1. I don't take accountability for my actions. I feel like I do, but I don't like lingering on something for too long as I feel is a waste of time.

2. I tend to run away instead of solving problems. I don't like solving problem then and there because I might have some other work to attend to. But my ex always wanted to solve the problems then and there, even though I needed to sleep or had deadlines.

3. I give up very easily. I hardly do. I have goals and ambition and I like to work towards them. If my routine is compromised, I tend to get detached from whoever is causing the issue.

4. I'm not in touch with my emotions. I agree to this. I tend to think logically most of the time and ask questions which may seem absurd to an emotional person.

My ex was an anxious person, so were a few of my friends. And eventually they all went away from my life.

IDK if I somehow tend to attract anxious-style person or they tend to be attracted to me, but I want to get out of this loop.

Any recommendations on what I should do?

I run, go to the gym, play badminton, go to new restaurants and cafes, earning enough to support my family - but what's the point of it all?

It's like I'm chasing one thing after the other. A never ending chase. I'm not happy, but I'm not sad either. Life is just... going on.

The sun rises everyday, and sets everyday. It keeps going round and round, and it will keep going on that way way long after me and everyone I know is no more.

There are people born with a silver spoon in their mouth who will never work as much as I do. They got the headstart in life. And I just feel like I reached the starting point a few years ago.

I had lots of hope and dreams when I was in my teenage. I was happier. I loved the chase, the grind. But is that all to life? Overtime I have started questioning my choices.

Being born in a country like India, where basic necessities are also compromised, it feels as if I've not even reached the starting point. I want to enjoy a walk in the park without being bothered by noise and dust and pollution and people staring at me. A very basic thing. But that will never be my reality.

I don't know why I made this post. Maybe it's just something that should be in my journal, but I wanted to tell someone about how I feel. And know that someone knows how I feel.