How do I break this weird procrastination cycle?
I'm 19F, and I recently started doing a side gig where I complete practical files and handwritten assignments for students.
It's not like students contact me directly or I go around asking people if they want their assignments done. One of my friends introduced me to a ma'am who runs tuition classes, and she gives me practical files and assignments to complete.
My handwriting is decent, and my writing speed is moderate (around 5-6 mins per page). The problem is... I always procrastinate until the last minute and end up not finishing the work on time.
To avoid getting scolded by Ma'am (she literally shouts at a very high pitch 😭), I keep making excuses whenever I get late. She already scolded me once because I kept delaying almost every batch she gave me. And honestly, not every delay happened because of procrastination, sometimes genuine things came up too,but a lot of them were definitely because I procrastinated.
The work is completely handwritten, basically copywriting from the provided material.
THE WEIRD PART !!!
Whenever I get a new batch, I'll write around 10-15 pages first just to estimate my writing speed for that particular content (it's usually around 5-7 mins per page). Then I'll calculate exactly how many hours it'll take me to finish the entire batch.
And once I know it'll take, say, 8 hrs... my brain somehow decides that I only need to start exactly 8 hrs before the deadline. 😭
For example, if I have to submit the work by 2 pm and it'll take around 8 hrs, I'll end up starting at 5-6 am. Obviously, I don't account for breaks, distractions, or slowing down because of sore hands, so I almost always end up getting late.
Last time, I tried tricking myself by pretending the deadline was 12 pm instead of 2 pm so I'd have a buffer. Somehow... I STILL got late.
I genuinely don't know how to break this loop.
I've tried techniques like telling myself, "I'll just write one page," or "I'll only do it for 10 mins." But it's like my brain has built a shield against these tricks. The moment I think about starting, my mind immediately says "no," even if it's just for 10 mins.
I'm also kind of scared of Ma'am because she scolds really aggressively. The last time she yelled at me, my heartbeat became so fast out of fear. Now, whenever I realize I'm going to be even a few mins late, I literally start shivering because I'm scared she'll scold me again.
But somehow... my dumb brain STILL procrastinates. 😭😭
Please suggest something. I seriously don't know how to get out of this loop. 😭