u/Scared_Safe8538

I (27m) have recently discovered I was bi sexual about 2 years ago. I always thought I was just a gay man and live as one for most of my life. I very masculine presenting and tend to have a hobbies where there’s only straight men involved and I always find myself falling in love or having crushes on straight men.

So here’s the issue. I notice I tend to bond better with my hetero counterparts and find a lot of those men attractive and romantically interesting. However The issues is in the title, they’re straight men, they do not want another man to be their romantic and sexual partner. It’s very rare when a straight guy would consider you and even more rare if they actually would like a full commitment relationship with you so why do I always fall in love with these straight men? The gays will tell me I have internalized homophobia but simultaneously will tell me it’s no one’s business on who I should/can love but what about you guys, the bi men, did you always like the androgynous gay man or did you always like the hetero straight man?

Do you bi men know what type of guy you’re looking for? What’s our normal? I just need some guidance here

I had a few success stories of straight men being curious about my sexuality and got them to do a little fruity stuff

I got one

I used to work at a family store and we had recently got a new vender for my department. This dude was the finest young man I’ve ever seen. Tanned skinned, thick mustache well groomed, upper built and very hairy (he only wore button ups and always kept his chest magic carpet exposed all the way) I thought he was Italian or some Mediterranean ethnicity but he was actually just a really masculine Latino who’s married to a woman and has a step kid from her.

Anyways we got to know each other and I told him about my sexuality and he initially wasn’t too bothered by it and I even told him I would not cross the line to make him feel uncomfortable around me. He did asked me if the reason why I told him was because I thought he was attractive and wanted to see if he was gay too? I said no but I’m not gonna lie you’re a sexy guy and I do check you out but I don’t do anything becuase it’s not cool to mess with you straight men like that. He said that’s cool I respect you for that and we went on our day

Anyways about a year into our friendship went and one day he came by to drop off product like usual but I notice he came in very tight gym shorts and a tight workout shirt.

Everything was bulging. His nice firm ass, his chest hairs, his perky pecks, his little gut, his balls, and his nice thick thighs

I don’t think I was subtle when I checked him out

“Aye bro what’s up”

Oh nothing you’re dropping off new product? It’s the weekend why are you working?

“Business is business bro I got a call from yall so I had to stop working out and deliver”

Yeah I notice… did you always had muscles like that?

“Yeah bro… you never noticed my muscles?”

Yeah but they’re bigger and huge now, or is it your clothes

“Nah bro I was always like this” *pulls up his sleeve and begins flexing

* I got lost in his body

“…”

“You never noticed my body like this?”

I did but I don’t vocalize it, out of resp…

“Wanna touch me?”

What?

“You wanna touch me?”

Bro I can’t

“It’s alright… *gets closer to me”

No I can’t we got customers here I don’t want them to look at you weird

“Haha ok but that’s for the compliment bro”

And we kept talking

He left after a bit

I know what yall thinking “HE TRUST YOU ENOUGH TO TOUCH HIM WTF HE WANTED TO PLAY WITH YOU”

And let me tell you, I seriously didn’t want to touch his arms… I wanted to molest him for dressing that tempting. My hands are groping everything and I’m not stopping but I had to control myself so hard that day

Idk if I hurt his feelings but I don’t want my straight friends to feel weird or be called gay for being comfortable around me. I was mega flattered that he was that comfortable with me to say that

Anyways what’s your story

Anyone had any luck on any dating apps specifically for bi men?

Personally I haven’t experienced a lot of bi phobia because I’m still fairly new to the bi world (recently discovered I was bi m27 identified as gay most of my life) but I get a lot of shit for acting “too hetero/masculine” from gay men

Have you guys experience this issue? If so I would like to hear your stories

I’m 27m and I’m pretty sure this is as good as it’s going to get dating/romance wise. I’m more into men romantically and sexually and find women’s body attractive and sexy but the gay men and bi men (especially today’s men and women) are pretty boring or full of insecurities or tik tok opinions/ observations that make them too paranoid to be themselves or be with me because of some arbitrary statistic that has nothing to do with me or them.

I have only dated 1 man in 2017-2018 and never been in a relationship since. Most of the guys I’m interested are straight men in committed loving relationships and have kids, they’re soo lovable I see why their wife wanted them and have kids with them.

Instead of waiting or endless talking stages and fwb turn situationships I rather just call it quits and just focus on my hobbies, sure I’ll have sex but a relationship? Nah

What’s it like dating as a bi man that’s more into guys?

Yes men do express feelings but I understand why they don’t feel the need to air out their issues (women don’t like it/no one take them seriously)

I’m not sure if this is just bro talk but I like when straight men confess their issues and problems with me. I feel like I’m more connected and intimate with them as men that I can’t describe any other way it makes me feel …important? Special? Loved? All I know is this makes me feel warm inside, like when they express how they feel I always have this nurturing feeling about wanting to protect their feelings and make sure they’re alright.

Yes I wish those men would consider asking me out on a date, he’ll I would love for them to give me even a shot for marriage but I know that’s not what they’re doing.

What do you guys think?