r/AskBiBros

Title pretty much says it all. If you have, how did it happen. I’m really trying to find a straight buddy to be like best buddies with, but I think it’s so hot watching a straight dude inside a chick and I wanna be there for it to get in when he’s done we don’t have to touch but I feel like it’s a strange question to ask a straight guy that you’re friends with, but I also feel like there’s plenty of guys that would be down

It was ages ago but I was thinking the way we were home alone and just doing it over and over again. It was strange

I’m not sure whether I’m a gay man who feels so strongly about this particular woman (ex-best friend with whom things fell apart after she told me she was in love with me) that I feel like I could work with it, or whether I’m actually bi and she’s the one that got away?

How would I know? I’ve only been on three dates with women ever: one in 2015, two in May. I’ve only slept with one woman one time in 2015. The thought of a woman can turn me on (the thought of her certainly does). I occasionally watch straight porn.

I have cried my eyes out over this one woman intermittently for years. I just had my first conversation with in her six years last week. But I’m also noticing that she was frozen in time as a memory, and as the classic dating trap goes, is it her or the idea of her? How much is attachment to this specific person vs genuine information on my orientation?

Late 20s for context.

Hi all,

I'm (37M, married to F) a little new to this so apologies in advance if I say something stupid. I've been straight (or so I thought) for most of my life. Turns out, after a few years of therapy and starting to workout and invest in myself, I am pansexual. I recently talked to my wife about it for the first time and everything went pretty well. She said she's thought that for years at this point. So that all went well and I am really relieved about that.

Now I'm not really sure what to do or who to tell. In some ways I feel like I don't really need to tell anyone (obviously aside from this message). Not because I'm ashamed - though I am still struggling through a significant amount of shame - but more because I don't think it changes my relationships with people at this point. I'm not in an open relationship and I'm committed to my wife.

Obviously there isn't a playbook or right way to do this, but I'm wondering if anyone has had a similar experience. What did it look like for you?

I’m straight but I watch bi and gay videos. I especially love seeing fit men with abs and when they are big.
Does that mean I’m curious ?

I'm 20M. Before him, I thought I was 95% straight. Then last summer I got really close to a guy. I'm going to skip a lot of details but things evolved naturally, and it turned into something romantic, sexual and intense. He said "I love you" and wanted to date, but I never could say it back, or commit, and had a lot of doubts, so we went our separate ways.

Over the past 9 months we kept pulling apart and coming back together, and things got more intense and passionate the more we spent together. It was always great being with him: we talked endlessly, we have chemistry, we match and challenge one another in a good way. I also crave kissing him, and the sex.

The moment that really shook me happened the last time we saw each other, 1 month ago. I was driving us home and he was mindlessly singing a song, and out of nowhere I felt, for the first time, that I actually loved him. I didn't tell him this, and it's a big part of why I'm now questioning everything.

This time we seriously cut off contact and haven't spoken since, because being casually together hurts, him especially, since he doesn't understand why I won't commit. For me, the casual part doesn't really hurt, what hurts me is when he pulls away afterwards because I won't commit. I miss him everyday and I can’t stop thinking about what If I now committed. Out of everyone I currently know, he's the only person I want to be with or have sex with, and I miss him every day.

I've recently come out to friends as bi which is comforting. During the time with this guy friend, I felt bi but more straight. However, over the past 2 months, I've been noticing men way more than before, sometimes more than women. And after not watching porn for six months, I tried again these past days and for the first time I enjoyed watching gay porn, and preferred it, even imagining one of the guys was him. And so now I'm questioning just how gay I actually am. (Surprises after surprises. This bisexuality stuff is so confusing)

Here's another thing: If it were entirely up to me, I don't think I'd want to date him right now. I kinda liked what we had casually, minus all the secrecy from everyone. And that makes me question the whole thing: do I actually want a relationship with him, or do I just want his company and sex without the label and commitment?

On top of that, something still holds me back when I think to myself "dating him" or "a love for life." My three main confusions:

1. Choosing a man feels like closing the door on women.
2. How do I deal with the uncertainty? I've never even had anything serious and sexual with a woman, so what if I change my mind, or meet one I click with down the line?
3. Kids and family. Adopting and raising a family with another man doesn't seem as natural to me, and I'm scared I'll regret not having a more "traditional" family.

A final thought that hit me and is very revealing: If I knew that things would never work with a woman, I would want to date him in a heartbeat. But I wouldn't demand the inverse to date a girl. What does this mean..?

So, the big question is, should I try something serious with him this summer and see how it goes?

Do you relate to any of this? I really need to hear any thoughts, advice, or your own experiences, even if it's just a small part of the story that resonates with you (like the porn).

And especially for the bi guys dating men, I would love to know how you dealt with the "pick a side" feeling, the fear of future regret, and the family/kids question.

TL;DR: Thought I was 95% straight until I fell for a guy over the past year. Just realized I love him, but I'm stuck on "picking a side," on fear of future regret, and on the kids/family question. Also not sure if I want a real relationship with him or just something casual.

Would you tell them the truth, or lie and make up a number? Or simply tell them you don't know?

Or maybe you would laugh it off and not answer? Change the subject? Ask them why they wanted to know?

A long time ago a friend asked me and I laughed and told him I didn't know. I quickly changed the subject. I was more modest back then. Thinking now, I'd probably just tell him the truth and hope he'd tell me the truth about his size in return

Hello I'm 24 y.o. and I'm bisexual. Throughout highschool I thought I was gay but then I had an encounter with a chick at 18 and I quite enjoyed it. Then over the years I started trying to get involved with women but they turn me down once I tell them I'm bi. I came out as bi officially at 22 y.o. but the point still stands. I'm struggling to speak to women because I'm scared to tell them that I'm bi without them turning me down. Besides idk where I would try and speak to women if that's the case. Any advice?

Had an experience with an older gay friend of mine one night. He'd been a family friend for years and we'd often hang out, go water skiing, go to a concert and sometimes go out to a bar. We use to banter back and forth sometimes sexually and he'd always aske if I was sure I didn't want to try anything with a guy. I had told him I'd actually thought about it before but was always too afraid to try. He asked what I wanted to try and I said I wanted to try sucking. So he let me try sucking him. I was nervous at first but he would stroke my hair and neck and tell me it was ok. I found myself so excited and turned on at the feeling of him in my mouth and I would close my eyes and just imagine he was nursing me. So now I find myself craving the same thing again. Wanting to perform oral on a mature man and especially a mature gay man. I still am attracted to women and not really physically attracted to men in general but the thought of feeling nursed like that again is intense. So the question is it really just a fetish type thing or some sort of innate daddy issues?

title says it. i'm curious to know what kind of guy were you first attracted to? did you fight the feelings? who initiated it? were you nervous? did you talk about your feelings with anyone? were you scared? have you talked to that guy since?

thanks for answering.

Like i had sex many times before but there have always been big intervals in between them. Like i am talking maybe having sex like arpund 5 to 6 times a year. For example within this year alone i had 2 penetrative and 1 non penetrative experience so far.

I started talking to this one guy like MONTHS ago but i always find myself chickening out. I keep making excuses and prolonging it all. Idk why i cant just go out and fuck around.

Like part of me find it annoying to shave and if i am the one pottoming to prep down there. Other psrt of me is always scared of STDs. Like whenever i have sex i have a little freak out that i cought something.

I am 51, quite happily married with an unbelievable sex life. But being with another male or man has been a part of my erotica since I was very young. I had way more experiences with other males before I graduated high school than I did having sex with girls in high school.

I’m looking for an ongoing yank buddy. Preferably with another happily married man and he’s 40s or 50s that wants the same thing as I do.

The question is, how do you find that person in the town you live in? Keep in mind gay bars are out of the question because I don’t want to have this type of friendship with someone who’s been with hundreds of men. So I don’t even know if there’s an answer to this question but I’d love to hear the feedback.

I (29M) know that many folks don’t want to use tags to define what they are and prefer to keep things open. I realize that tags help me a lot to understand myself through the lenses that those tags bring me.

For a long time I saw myself as straight, but I always had a more feminine way of behaving - mostly because I was raised by women. In school I went through a lot of bullying because of that, where people would call me faggot.

Later in life I had relationships with women and with one of them that became a long term thing. It was great and I had strong feelings for her, loved sex and loved her.

We ended up not working out, and I decided to see if I liked being with a guy, because I was watching a lot of gay porn throughout life. I found a guy on Grindr and sucked his dick and let him suck mine. We also made out. I hated it so much, to the point that I stopped watching gay porn.

I later started watching again and sometimes fantasize being with a dude again, but at the same time I know I don’t like it.

I’d rather be with a woman, but I find it difficult for me to find a good match because I’m not the stereotype of an alpha male.

Anyways, it caused confusion on me and my sexuality. I guess I might be a bi curious, because I don’t consider myself bi? I never even fantasized of having a relationship with a guy, just women. I guess guys was mostly sex stuff. What am I?

I have a very young vivid memory of experimenting with a family friend. Kind of blocked it from my brain but I’ve always dabbled over the years. More such since I opened up to my bestfriend and she encouraged me to do it more which I did. When I’m sober I’m 100% straight. But drinking. I just think of well endowed men and don’t know what to think of it. Please help

I’m a guy I slept with a dude last night accidentally while I was high and now I don’t know what this means I mean i thought I was straight but now I don’t know what to do

I’ve been dating a guy for 2 years and my immediate family knows and accepts him. I’ve also told my niece and nephews, and 1 of my grandmas. A few months ago I experienced the death of my first grandparent. My other grandma died before I could tell her about my boyfriend and she never got to meet him. She was super sick and she’s VERY conservative so I chose not to start the argument with her before she passed. I kind of regret never telling her but now I’m wondering if I should tell my grandpas about my boyfriend. (They probably won’t react well). They’ve been urging me to get back with my ex girlfriend for 2.5 years now. Any advice?

usually my bi-cycle gives me a bit of a break lol. like a few weeks of leaning towards guys, then a few weeks of girls. but lately i swear the dial is just broken.
i was out last night and saw this guy with an insane jawline standing right next to a girl with the prettiest eyes ever. my brain didn't even try to choose one, my immediate thought was just "i want to be the middle of that sandwich"
it's past the point of a normal preference shift, it's just a full on distraction now. does anyone else's brain skip the whole gradual shift thing and go straight to being hopelessly flustered by everyone?

how do you guys even deal with the absolute bi panic

I have a very young vivid memory of experimenting with a family friend. Kind of blocked it from my brain but I’ve always dabbled over the years. More such since I opened up to my bestfriend and she encouraged me to do it more which I did. When I’m sober I’m 100% straight. But drinking. I just think of well endowed men and don’t know what to think of it. Please help

I’m straight but since few weeks I love watching gay and bi porn. I want to stop but I can’t since it’s too good.

Am I curious ?

I find older men extremely attractive and can’t get them out of my head. I’m 26M and don’t have an attractive for guys my age. The older the better. Part of why I find them attractive is because of their maturity and calmness. I also like when they’re very masculine, big arms, legs, big plus if they’re hairy. But overall an older man always gets my attention and always enjoy chatting with them. Few examples of the type of guys I like. John Hamm. Chris Noth. Paul Rudd. Many more!