u/Scary-Cow-2549

I received this text “Would you be willing to work with me and if so should we do it with assistance?”.

I am tired and I don’t feel like it is my job to tell her how to heal herself so that she has compassion for others.

Even the text takes energy to try to decode to “can we go to family therapy?”

I have already told her that she needs to be more gentle and kind, not only to me but to everyone including herself.

I was parentified my whole life by her and feel like this would be a continuation of me needing to be involved/hold her hand and teach her how to be a compassionate, decent human…a job she failed to do for me (luckily I had some great family members/friends that did teach that)

(before you comment, I am a therapist and know how amazing and helpful therapy can be).

tl;dr

My sister (flying monkey) is getting married and asked me to be a bridesmaid. I dont want to be involved due to estrangement and mistreatment but it will ruin our relationship completely and idk if i am ready for that. Looking for input or validation

I stopped talking with my mom over a year and a half ago, well, she stopped talking to me. I said I need some space and never heard from her again.

No contact due to reasons most of us are no contact.

My sister is getting married and is a flying monkey. I am being pressured into being in spaces with my mom like family dinners, and wedding dress shopping.

I don’t know how to navigate this because I really thought I would never see my mom again…she is not willing to change or even talk about the situation.

my sister and I used to be best friends, but she’s easily manipulated by my mom and I haven’t seen her really in past 1.5 years and she asked me to be a bridesmaid.

I honestly don’t want to but feel like that will be the end. I also cannot just pretend everything is fine and go along with it. What’s a girl to do?

I was today years old listening to Numb and One Step Closer

Why does society act like bankruptcy will ruin your life??

I think they are talking about the extremely wealthy when saying it will be horrible and ruin the next 10 years of their life.

I just don’t understand the stigma around finances anyway. If you are going through this, you are not alone and it will be okay!

I AM NOT SAYING JUST DO THIS FOR FUN OR WITHOUT TRYING ANYTHING ELSE FIRST!!!!!!

Why does society act like bankruptcy will ruin your life??

I think they are talking about the extremely wealthy when saying it will be horrible and ruin the next 10 years of their life.

I just don’t understand the stigma around finances anyway. Can someone explain why we make bankruptcy such a huge deal???

Long story short: I don’t talk to my mom (more like she doesn’t talk to me) and my sister just got engaged. My sister messaged me saying her fiance’s parents want the family to meet next weekend and my mom will be there. I am truly busy and wondering why she wouldn’t make sure the “family” was available before scheduling this.

It feels like she asked my mom if it works for her then just went based off her schedule (she is still trapped in her narcissistic web).

I want to be kind but also let her know it isn’t cool that she didn’t check in to see if I could go in the first place. No idea how to express this to her. Any suggestion?

So, over one year ago I told my mom I “needed space” after she chose “tough love” over compassion. She has not contacted me since and I feel abandoned. Feeling like you are not worth fighting for (aka admitting you made a mistake) is so horrible when it comes from your own mother.

I have weekly therapy and even did an IOP, I am trying my best to heal and be okay but I am starting to question if I ever will be.

Has anyone started to feel better and been able to not ruminate on it?? and how???