He's here! 💙🌈
Last week I gave birth to my beautiful, living, perfect baby boy Junius.
I lost my first baby, my son River, at just under 30 weeks in March 2025. When he died I had pre-eclampsia with severe features, and my placenta pathology gave me a diagnosis of chronic histiocytic intervillositis. Last spring and summer I felt so much heartache and fear that these diagnoses would make it impossible for me to have a live birth. I am sure everyone in this group understands that uncertainty and grief.
Now that we are on the other side, I am so grateful to be able to say that I had a healthy pregnancy, and the treatment plan that we chose with my doctors was successful (or maybe we just got lucky this time).
We had planned an induction at 37+1, but J made other plans and flipped to a breech position shortly before we started the induction process. So, we had a c section instead! When I heard the doctor announce that she was pull baby's head out, and then when she showed me and my husband our breathing, grunting baby, we both started crying and it was the most beautiful moment.
In the days since giving birth, it's been an emotional learning curve. Before birth, I expected constant newborn bliss. I knew that was naive, but I still believed it. Being postpartum and learning how to breastfeed is still hard work! So now I'm trying to be gentle with myself and to have lower expectations about how I should be feeling. I still grieve for my baby boy River. But there is so much joy in learning who his little brother is, and anticipating who he will be.
Thanks everyone who was so supportive to me on this group. This was a really supportive and helpful online community. The reality of life and pregnancy after stillbirth is so hard. Wishing you all peace and hope, wherever you are in the process.