u/Scary_Willow66

Hello all,

First of all, I know I fucked up royally. So please dont come at me for it. I feel terrible about it enough and I’m looking for some guidance and advice on what to do as I think I ruined everything for my toddler.

My 3, almost 4 year old almost toddler is potty trained and has been for months now. That is until two weeks ago I was told he had a poop accident at preschool while playing. I didn’t acknowledge it since figured it was an occasional slip up. Then after that week, he had poop accidents three more times. Then he was fine on the weekend, used the potty every time. Now this week so far, he pooped again at preschool twice. And last night he did it again, told him he needs to listen to his body.

Happened again tonight and he was fighting his father (my husband) as he tried to put him in the shower to clean him. He was screeching at top of his lungs that he didn’t want to do a shower. I was bathing his younger sibling in the same bathroom when this occurred. They started to cry so I took them out of the bathroom, dressed and put down.

I went back to check to see if my husband needed help. Of course the toddler was still screaming, stomping while my poor husband was trying not to get smeared with his poop.

I lost my cool and screamed at him that he was being a baby and that if he wants to poop in his underwear then it’s time to go back to diapers. I took his ruined underwear and threw in the trash in front of him.

Now he won’t look at me and told his father that him pooping means I’m mad. I know I fucked up. I don’t know what to do. I feel terrible but I’m so exhausted and tired. We have done everything to potty train him, watching ms Rachel, Elmo, Daniel tiger potty videos, potty books he picked out in store, rewards, cool new underwear etc etc. I just don’t get it. We’ve been at this for over a year now.

How do I salvage our relationship? How do I get his trust back? And how should I approach this situation? How do I get him to poop in the potty?

Hello,

Located in United States and just looking for some advice or guidance here. Long story short, I was unemployed for over a year and few months after being part of company lay off. I found an in office salaried job that sold me on so called “values” family mission. The salary is 35% higher than what I made previously. Which significantly helps my family. But it feels like a downgrade sometimes.

After three months here, they questioned on why I was late when walking in around 7:45am. I thought I wasn’t because I worked from 8am to 4:30pm and I was informed that was incorrect. It should be 7:30am to 4:30pm with half hour lunch. This is on me as I didn’t ask to clarify the lunch duration during negations. I assumed an hour long lunch. I checked the employee handbook but it only specifies work hours and lunch period for hourly employees. I was told that it’s expected of salaried to work at least 43 hours weekly, no exceptions. My offer letter doesn’t even specify any work hours or mention if this is a 40 hour work week. Just says “this is a full time position.”

Fast forward to after three months working here. I contracted a mysterious stomach bug and was really sick as a dog. So I called out sick for one day . Returned and was immediately put on spot to use PTO for sick day. I already used up three PTO days for my kids being sick or out on school days. I asked if I just could make up for missed time after hours and they said no, has to be PTO. I got pissed and said it’s absolutely stressful and unfair to force PTO instead of offering limited sick days. They settled for unpaid. This still has me fuming.

Another month later, my kids school had Good Friday off. I asked if I could work from home that day. As I was given a laptop for my main computer which is connected to the server if needed over WiFi. They immediately shot that down. And said I need to use PTO. I said I already used up half of it and would like to use it for a planned four day family vacation later this year. I called them out on the “values” they said they believed in when I took the job offer. They agreed hesitatingly but it still soured me. Oh I got two projects sent out on that day by the way so it wasn’t like I was slacking.

I have only 2 weeks PTO with NO sick days or time. I tried to negotiate for 3-4 weeks of PTO but was pushed back on this with 2 weeks PTO to start with but will awarded cap of 3 weeks PTO next year. Am expected to work at least 43 hours weekly with half hour lunch. I feel like I was lied to after I took the job. They told me that the company was founded on “values” with belief that their employees families should be taken care of before work.

Should I look elsewhere now? I’m hesitant to with this job market and taking a pay cut since this position pays 25% above than average ranges I’m seeing for similar jobs. Or am I just being too picky?